Appointment Monday, should I go off the Pill?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Appointment Monday, should I go off the Pill?
7
Thu, 10-27-2011 - 4:57pm

Hi ladies! :) Sorry I have been mostly lurking since the wedding. I'm an old married lady now. ;) I missed you guys, and hi to everyone new! :)

I have my annual appt with my gyno on Monday morning. I mentioned to S that I need to go because I'm almost finished my current bcp pack and have zero refills left. I need the checkup to get a new birth control prescription written. He said I should go off the pill completely. He doesn't like me being on the pill basically and since we are married now, he doesn't see an unplanned pregnancy as a big deal at all (I agree to an extent, but I'm still not 100% ready for parenthood).

I don't know what to do and I feel torn!

For us, sex was risky in the beginning because he doesn't like condoms and we mostly pull and prayed! Getting on the pill came soon after our relationship started. Without it we would likely still just pull and pray or I could learn to chart to avoid. Getting pregnant sooner than expected would not be terrible AT ALL but I think I would be disappointed at not getting to officially TTC (does that make sense? I want to take vitamins, exercise, research, plan, have a start date, etc.).

The Pill has definetly negatively affected my sex drive - as in I have NONE what so ever since I have been on it. We both would like me to get off it for that reason alone. The hormones really numb my feelings/level out my highs and lows and I really dislike that.

On the plus side though - my periods are extremely light on the pill and I rarely have any cramps! I dread getting my old period back, cramps and heavy bleeding, ugh!

If I was TTC I would want to be taking prenatals instead of a multi, maybe extra supplements, exercising, not drinking any alcohol or caffeine (oh coffee my love how I'll miss you), eating healthy, forcing DH to eat healthy and take vitamins too lol, etc. I'd also like an official pre-TTC checkup for both of us, and for both of us to go to the dentist pre-TTC too. I can't get all of that done before MONDAY!

Do you need to take a break between the pill and TTC? I've never read a clear answer on that?

Not paying for the pill anymore would be nice .., so that's a plus.

A baby now wouldn't be bad, but our finances are not ideal yet. I have several goals including emergency funds, paying off debts and I'd like a nest egg of money set aside just for the pregnancy/baby's first year too. I'd also love a new(er) car before a baby, a honeymoon (we haven't had one) and a solid year of couple time with my new hubby ...

But we're also 29 and 38? Aren't we "old?"

Ugh .. my thoughts are all over the place on this one. Any thoughts or advice for me? :)

love, E


 


Daisypath Anniversary Years Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2006
Thu, 10-27-2011 - 6:34pm
Hi E,
It sounds to me like you're not quite ready to TTC. I don't think you should go off the pill just because he wants you to - it's your body! If you want to switch to another type of birth control for now, that could work (maybe the nuvaring or some other type would be preferable) but since you just got married, a year as you say sounds completely reasonable to wait!

I certainly don't think 29 is old. At 38, I can see why he's ready, but you need to be ready too. You're the one who has to be pregnant, never mind raising the baby. I'm going to be 26, and most of my friends aren't married or even coupled off yet.

You could get the IUD, that's what I have, if you're going to wait a year. Assuming your insurance covers it-otherwise it's expensive. It won't help the periods (could make them worse) but if you get a non-hormonal one it won't affect your sex drive one way or another, and there's nothing to remember each day like a pill or fuss over like condoms. Works great for me. The only annoyance is that I'll have to go to the gyn to have it taken out when I'm officially ready to TTC, rather than just tossing the pills.

Birth control is a gift to women! I think of course you should be on some form of it if you aren't wanting to get pregnant right now. It's your right as a woman to decide. Being married does not mean you're automatically ready.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Fri, 10-28-2011 - 8:27am
I second what Becki said: perhaps another form of birth control may be better for you! As for a break between the pill and TTC, I have no idea!

You're not old! You still have some time to enjoy being newlyweds!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Fri, 10-28-2011 - 4:16pm

Becki, thanks for the response! :) S definitely doesn't get to decide when I go off the pill, but part of me got really excited that he even made that comment to begin with! I also like that he cares how the hormones in the pill affect me.

I think I will try to discuss pill alternatives with my doctor on Monday. I hate the way the pill makes me feel (no sex drive, less emotional) but I do love the lack of period, cramps, etc. I am not ready to TTC or be pregnant now, but I don't think it will be a full year before I am ready. The date that sticks out in my head now is my 30th bday in March. I think that would be a nice time to stop the pill and do NTNP, we will have been married 6 months at that point. I don't have to be married a full year before STARTING TTC, but I would like our first child to be born after our 1st anniversary. I am really good at remembering to take my pill so it is a good option for me for the most part, maybe the easiest thing to do is just stay on it for a few more months.

Thanks for helping me sort my thoughts out! :)


 


Daisypath Anniversary Years Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Fri, 10-28-2011 - 4:22pm

Thanks Victoria! :) I'm going to ask my doctor on Monday about the break between pill and TTC. I've read conflicting things online.

I do want to be selfish and keep my hubby all to myself for awhile! ;) I wish we could truly enjoy being newlyweds by going on a honeymoon, but it's just not in the cards financially. :( wahh


 


Daisypath Anniversary Years Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Mon, 10-31-2011 - 5:25pm
Could you perhaps do a staycation? Staying at home and relaxing together would be great and cheap!

Good luck with your appointment!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Mon, 10-31-2011 - 8:53pm

We actually just did that last week and it was wonderful. S is not allowed to take any vacation time during the upcoming holiday season so he wanted to use some in October. He took off Fri, Sat, Sun and Mon. I took off the same, except a 6 hour shift at my 2nd job on Saturday. We napped, watched tv, went to Washington DC one day and went to a pumpkin patch. It was fabulous having that much time together!


 


Daisypath Anniversary Years Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Wed, 11-02-2011 - 3:13pm
That's great, E!

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