Does the jealous feeling ever go away? (vent)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2012
Does the jealous feeling ever go away? (vent)
10
Wed, 08-22-2012 - 4:49pm
Sometimes I just feel like I'm going to explode! I am so frustrated with seeing and hearing about other peoples pregnancies when I want it more than anything! I want so bad to get pregnant, but its just not the right time for it.. I'm just so tired of the questions of when/how many/why not now? It hurts so bad and all I want to do is break down.. I don't know how much more I can take... :'(
Daisypath Wedding tickers
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Registered: 10-17-2010
Thu, 08-23-2012 - 2:01pm

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time with the waiting process.  It's harder when people bug you about it and it's really none of their business.  Maybe say something to the effect of: "DH and I have determined it's not the right time for us to start a family.  We don't know when the right time will be; but when we have happy news to share, we will share it"

On the bright side, you have about 2 months to your wedding! You will have your beautiful day and then one TTC milestone will be down!

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Registered: 02-06-2012
Fri, 08-24-2012 - 7:20am
Thank you, I'm very excited for the wedding and almost everything is in place! But I have to say I have noticed that as the days get closer the more questions I get about when I'm going to have kids. My grandma is the worst, along with her friends and pulls the "better have kids before I die so I can babysit" then says not to rush my life and I'm too young but now is the best time because I'm young...what??? So I told her if she pays daycare at a top school ill do it right after were married.. however that might have backfired on me because she's loooooooaded (lol).

I'm going to start telling people when they ask to donate to a baby daycare fund if they want me to have one sooner. Maybe making it awkward on them will stop the questions on me!
Daisypath Wedding tickers
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Registered: 02-06-2012
Fri, 08-24-2012 - 2:37pm
Butterfly, I totally agree. I mean the only reason were waiting is the wedding, and money. I hate when I'm playing with my twin cousins or my nephew and people comment on how great of a mom ill be and blah blah blah. It's so frustrating sometimes.. its super hard because if I didn't miscarry I would have one at their ages (1yr apart between the 3) and I feel like I'm missing out and I hate that I'm empty armed.. :'(
Daisypath Wedding tickers
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Registered: 02-06-2012
Tue, 08-28-2012 - 7:37am
Thank you so much! I'll probably take you up on that! I'm here too! :smileyhappy:
Daisypath Wedding tickers
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Registered: 10-17-2010
Wed, 08-29-2012 - 5:42am

You're not alone in the jealousy thing...

I got my own surge of it last night.  DH and I are friends with a couple that already have two kids (one planned one unplanned) and last the wife posted on FB that she was pregnant again.  I darn near lost my mind.  It turned out to be a joke, but I still got upset.

The first thing that ran through my mind was "You had to go on WIC and try for SNAP because you can't even put enough food on the table now due to all the debt you've accumulated and you're having ANOTHER kid?!" Almost daily she vents about their money problems to me.  I get it, I really do, irresponsible and reckless when you're younger and paying for it now.  My second thought was "Navy medical will give you birth control for free, USE IT!" as they very rarely use anything.

See? You're not alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2012
Wed, 08-29-2012 - 4:14pm
Oh my gosh that would set me off. I mean really? What a sucky thing to joke about! I mean I've seen a few girls post about it on April Fools but that's just one you know's crap off the bat.

Does y'all DH's feel the way you guys do about waiting? Or are they the ones digging their heels in?
Daisypath Wedding tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 7:34am

The first time through, he was digging his heels in.  I honestly think that is what saved us.  If we had had a child right when I wanted one, it would have been a disaster.  We weren't ready at that time; and while I (like you) realized it wasn't a good time I said to hell with good timing let's just do it.  DH held firm on timing though.  He wanted me to get through school, he wanted some time to just have me as a wife and not a mommy too.  Once you have a child, your marriage and relationship change so having time just the two of you is good.  It's hard to see the heel digging as a good thing now, but once you have a child of your own the resentment will be gone and you will see it as a good thing.  I promise.  I have been there.

This second time around, we are both neutral.  We want to have another child but there is no insane baby fever (on my end) like there was before.  We will be in a better place to have this child and we know what to expect.