Books for stubborn DHs?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2003
Books for stubborn DHs?
3
Mon, 07-14-2003 - 1:39pm
Does anyone out there know of a good book for DH that is "having cold feet", "not ready", "wishy washy", etc to read that talks about the potential for the joys of being a father?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2003
Mon, 07-14-2003 - 2:03pm
I'm not sure if there are any specifically about that. You may want to go to your local bookstore and just browse through the baby (pregnancy) section. I recently bought my DH the books "My Boys Can Swim" and "The Expectant Father" (he's finished the first one and 1/4 of the way through the second one. The difference is, he's as ready as I am to try.

Do you know why your DH isn't ready (doesn't want) to have kids? Have you been able to pinpoint an exact reason? Was there a point in time that he wanted kids and now he doesn't? If so, what changed? With some of this information, you might be able to find books about the reluctance he has and help him through that. It's just a thought.

My DH hasn't always been as ready as me. 2 years ago (this October) is when I wanted to start trying. We set a date for the following October (2002). When Oct. 2002 came around he was working out of town and I was taking 18 credits in school. We talked about it again in Oct. and decided to wait until I was done with school. We picked our anniversary as our Day 1, trying to conceive. That will be August 4.

I know how it is. I felt like my body was telling me, "you're ready to have a baby" and it just kept telling me that over and over. Some months have been worse than others. For me, it's like a desire deep within my core, like, even if I didn't want it mentally, my body would still be desiring it.

Try to remember all the reason you married your DH. I know in the past when I became obseesed with wanting to try, my dh has stated that he feels like the only reason I married him was to have him father my children. Just something else to keep in mind.

I know everything will work out for you somehow.

(((Hugs)))

Melinda wtt 8/03

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2003
Mon, 07-14-2003 - 5:50pm
Melinda,

Yes, I was the one who posted "DH not ready - HELP". You gave me some really good advice. I just need to vent ... AGAIN!

He had an abusive childhood and he is selfish about his things and the early retirement thing. He doesn't see having a family as a happy thing - all families are overworked, stressed, frustrated, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2003
Mon, 07-21-2003 - 12:24am
Another suggestion. I found a bbok today that I had purchased for dh about a 2 years ago. It's called, thoughts on being a father. It has little (one small page) write-ups by famous people about experiences and thoughts they have about being a father. I think it helped my DH become more excited about the idea of ttc.

Hope this helps,

Melinda wtt 8/4/03

 

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