? for BTDT moms...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
? for BTDT moms...
Mon, 07-07-2003 - 10:36pm
When does the question "When are you going to have another baby?" go away? This is really getting frustrating and old for me. I mean Colin isn't even 18 months yet. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have another baby, but with DH a SAHD and the new house coming next year, right now it isn't feasible. Besides the fact I just went back to work in Jan. A lot of it is my co-workers asking. You'd think that they are trying to shove me out the door again or something.

I guess I find it hard waiting and getting asked almost everyday doesn't help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Tue, 07-08-2003 - 7:22am
It never goes away until you tell people your're pg. Then after the baby is born they start asking again. I have a couple of come backs when I'm really agitated and tired of the same people asking over and over and I'm tired of say "I don't know (with that fake smile):

1. When you're going to pay for me to raise the next one I'll have anothe one

2. When I save another $180K (that's about what the cost is to raise a child)

This is usually the end of people asking at least for awhile ;-)


Avatar for jlynna12
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 07-08-2003 - 4:10pm
Oh man! the same reason you never hear the end of it once you get married. We were asked when the kids were coming before we were even engaged! And, have been hearing it ever since. It's especailly going to frustrate me if it takes a while to conceive, but they continue to ask! I'll probably break down in tears and tell them "where to go" haha!

It'll never stop. I can guarantee that. Which is why I make a point of trying not to ask questions like that to people!!



Jlynn, Momma to Asher and Ada

Avatar for ntaylor908
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 07-08-2003 - 6:59pm
I agree with you! That is my most dreaded question, and I get it all the time. DH's parents are ready for grandchildren! I try not to ask people that question because I know how much it frustrates me! My biggest problem now is that I KNOW when I'm going to try, but we're not telling anyone, since it's none of their business. So when people ask me when I'm going to have a baby, I tell them, "Not today!"

Nicki, WTT #1 Aug/Sept 2003

Avatar for ammarahs_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 07-09-2003 - 3:33am
I know how you feel. I don't think the question ever goes away until you actually tell people that you've completed your family and aren't planning any more. Until that time comes, people are always going to be wondering when the next baby will arrive. It's like when you've been dating someone for awhile and people want to know when you're getting engaged, then when you're engaged they want to know when you're getting married, and when you're married they want to know when you're going to have a baby. The "fun" starts all over again when your children reach adulthood, and people want to know when your son/daughter is going to get married, when you're going to get grandchildren, when you're going to get more grandchildren, etc. My daughter is 28 months old and I also find it annoying when people ask when I'm having another. Some people even ask if I'm pregnant (not that I look it or anything). There was a friend I hadn't seen for almost a year and I found her number and called her the other day. She asked if I've "got another one now". Hello? Just because she had all her kids one year apart doesn't mean I have to, too! There's no rush, in my opinion, my daughter is still little more than a baby!

When people ask, I think it's best to give a vague answer like "Not for ages" or "Not right now". It's none of their business and they don't have to know your exact TTC date.


Aisha WTT #2 12/03

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2000
Sun, 07-13-2003 - 7:55pm
Well, people stopped asking me after the birth of our second child. Since we have a boy and a girl, everyone automatically assumes we're done. They all said stuff like "Now you have your family...a girl and a boy." Well! Nice of them to let us make the decision, huh?


Avatar for stephaniekandel
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 07-14-2003 - 3:20pm
Hey Julia!

I am completely shocked by people's lack of manners. Anyway, I know what you're going through. We have been married for 2 years, and now relatives/friends are starting to ask us when we are planning. Just respond by saying "It's none of your business!" Just kidding! Tell them that you will spending a lot of time/finances with your new house, and that is your "new" baby for now. Best of luck with everything:)