Conflicted (newbie intro)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Conflicted (newbie intro)
Thu, 08-11-2011 - 1:57pm

Hi everyone! I’ve been a lurker for some time now and I thought now would be a good time to introduce myself on the boards because I could really use some support right now. I don’t know that WTT is the best place for this post but I don’t know where else to post this.

DH(30) and I(25) have been married for over 6 years and have a beautiful daughter(3.5). We discussed children before we got married and decided we wanted 2 or 3 children. When our daughter was 8 months old DH deployed for a year and talked about TTC #2 for a while. Then our marriage hit a rocky point once he got home and he told me he didn’t want any more children. Now, thanks to marriage counseling a lot of communication, our relationship is solid and we’re both very happy but he still says he is done at one. He has said that he will “consider” TTC #2 after I graduate but he really doesn’t want another.

Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Thu, 08-11-2011 - 10:12pm
Hi and welcome! I am sorry to hear you aren't on the same page...It sounds like he needs another year to think about it...

You are at the right place! Waiting to try is hard and we do have members with undecided SOs. I hope we can help you with the wait! I am Victoria, 30, and DH, 42 and I are WTT our first, mostly for financial reasons.

Avatar for thesunshinekid
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2001
Thu, 08-11-2011 - 11:57pm

Ah, the joys of men - and they say that we are the fickle ones!!

Very seriously - I think that you should tell him exactly what you told us.

Jules - Happily married and Momma to DS, DD and expecting our Caboose Baby 11/24/2012

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Fri, 08-12-2011 - 4:14pm

Thank you both for the warm welcome! It is nice to know there is a place I can come to find people who understand.

Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker


Avatar for sandyc299
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Fri, 08-12-2011 - 4:54pm

I have been there before. I knew I wanted two and we also agreed on two before we got married. Well after my son was born, all the colic and everything else he wasn't sure. I kept trying to talk him into it and he kept pushing away. I was like well we have time as he wasn't even 1 yet. So, finally a few months ago he finally realized I was not going to budge and now my son is so fun to be around and they do things together that he finally is on board with having another. We just have to set an official date. I am hoping for January as he told me that he wants another fall baby so we can re use the clothes (even if it is a girl we can use some of them).

David Nicholas 12/5/09
Expecting a GIRL 3/23/13

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2011
Mon, 09-12-2011 - 5:18am

Give your husband a little more time. 3.5 is still a tough age. He may feel differently once your son starts school and is a little easier to handle. Children should be wanted by both parents, and unless or until your husband is on board with having another there is really nothing you can do.

I understand that you feel betrayed, but he does have a right to change his mind, and he might change it again.

Expecting baby #1 August 8th 2012! It's a girl!