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|Thu, 03-17-2011 - 1:08pm|
Alright, I am hoping to get some advice on an apparent impasse my spouse and I are engaged in regarding contraceptives.
My spouse and I have been happily married for 2 years. We bought a home and we both have jobs making decent money. Decent meaning: we are never late on any sort of payment we may have and we are not living paycheck to paycheck.
Before we were married we decided about the number of kids we would like to have, the approximate amount of time we wanted to have to ourselves after being married, and the general financial and career standing we wanted to be in before we started to have kids. We have not gotten to those goals yet.
As far as contraceptives go, we have been on the pill for most of the time we have been together. Not just marriage but through the dating process as well. Also, we have used a condom every time we have had sex...except once. I like the comfort in knowing that we are being safe and doing everything we can to alleviate getting pregnant.
Where I need advice is: My spouse wants to stop using condoms and rely exclusively on the pill. We have had some heated conversations about this and I feel like we have come to a standstill.
Their arguments are:
1. we are married we shouldn't have to use condoms
2. we would be OK financially if we had a baby
3. it just feels better.
I agree totally on all of those points.
However, they take exception to my arguments:
1. I don't feel it is fair that one of us should have to shoulder the entire burden of contraception. We are a team and we should both do our part as it is as much my responsibility as it is theirs.
2. What was the point of laying out a plan on how we wanted to build our lives and our family if we are now going to totally disregard it?
3. Why, if we are both in total agreement that we are not ready to have kids (but that we would be OK if we had one) would we increase our chances of having a child by taking out a layer of protection?
We have talked about alternatives to condoms, but they don't seem to be satisfied with using anything more than just the pill. I would appreciate any advice on this matter either for their arguments or for mine.
This is NOT about:
INFECTION: Neither of us have an STD, so the condom is NOT for that purpose, only to prevent pregnancy.