DH reluctant to start family, I'm ready
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|Sat, 03-29-2003 - 7:38am|
Erin and Edmund, bith 27 in August, married July 1998.
Here's the question: Did your DH feel "READY" to start a family? Was he at all apprehensive about the financial burden? Were he afraid?
How can I tell whether my husband's negative feelings towards starting a family are cold feet or if he really isn't "READY" right now, but will be ready someday in the future?
I will be 27 this August and so is my DH. We've been married for 5 years this July and have no kids yet. We were waiting for him to complete his diploma. He graduated last April and we've had a difficult time getting on our feet. We were living with his parents at the time, and we've recently moved to our own place.
I had agreed to wait until he was out of school and working steadily before starting our family. He still hasn't got a steady job, but I don't think we should wait any longer. He has to work whether we have a family or not. We have to pay rent and utilities and buy food whether we have a family or not. There really isn't any additional financial obligation associated with having a baby, aside from baby things which I think our families would be more than happy to help us acquire.
He comes from an upper middle class protestant family. His family has two parents, two kids and two cars. He thinks that we have to be "financially sound" (whatever that means) before we can start a family. I pointed out to him that one of his uncles (who has two children aged 8 and 15) just paid his parents back for a $100000 loan they gave him when he first started out. I told him if we wait to be "financially sound" we may be waiting forever. His background has a lot to do with how he feels about starting a family.
I come from a family with 6 kids and I always thought I'd have a large family myself (large for where we come from). Now I'm worried that if I wait until DH is "READY" to start, I might not have time (biologically speaking). What if he never feels "READY", where will that leave me?