Does it bother you when...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Does it bother you when...
22
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 1:11pm

For all of you waiting to try, does it bother you when people in your life try to nag or rush you into having kids?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2008
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 1:42pm

I know how you feel, although I have to say I even get annoyed with the simple "When are you gonna have kids?"

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 1:46pm

The first one has not been so bad. The only people that have really asked have been my MIL & SIL which bothers my DH immensely but I only half listen with some goal in the future as the point when we'll start.


Now to your second question, that one does irk me immensely. My DH is not quite ready and when I have mentioned that (to say co-workers who waited to have children until their early thirties) I get the "Well how old are you? Oh you have PLENTY of time." I think "No crap I have plenty of time. That does NOT mean I don't want kids yet and I should have the ability to gripe a little." Luckily I found this board for the latter and rarely mention wanting kids to anyone IRL anymore.


All in all, I feel ya.

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*Katie*

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 1:48pm

Oh yeah,


I'm Katie (24) and DH is Brad (28). I'm hoping we'll start trying Sept. '09.

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*Katie*

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2007
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 1:49pm

Sorry but mine is similar but different.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2006
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 3:28pm
Yeah I get that sometimes from people. (and we're not even married yet) Namely one of my sisters...She CONSTANTLY tells me to have a baby. We're still working on the whole engagement thing. We want to be married before we have children. I'd be happy to have them right now, but it's just not right for us. I hate it but at least I know we're doing the right thing by waiting. So I have to force myself to ignore it as much as possible.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 4:04pm

Thanks everyone for your replies! Now I don't feel like such a grouch. ;) I guess it just seemed ironic to say I'm waiting and then get mad when people tell me to wait.


To Lora- Yes the simple "when" question does bother me...when it's the same people asking over and over lol! Ironically, one of the people who keeps asking is a single mom...I guess she thinks just cuz she can raise a kid by herself that means it should automatically be easy for me because I'm married?


I definitely agree-each couple knows when they're ready and knows what's best for their family.

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Registered: 08-08-2003
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 8:44pm

I totally understand the "Do you even want kids?" thing. I get that attitude from my mom, of all people, all the time. I'm sooo annoyed with her right now. I'm 33 and my dh Scott is 32. We've been married for 8 years, but, long story short, we've been struggling to establish careers until very recently. We've spent most of our married life in school so far. It's just been very recently that we've started to seriously consider starting a family. Yet, because we've been married awhile, people have just started to assume that we're not interested in having kids. (My mom had 8 of us right away in life, and so now, because I haven't jumped right on the baby-making bandwagon, she assumes that I'm just not interested.) She comments to all her friends that she's pretty much written me off, and that I won't be the one of her kids giving her any grandchildren. It's very insulting. I just try to smile politely and ignore her, but it's getting harder and harder. I know she's my mom and that she just talks without thinking; she doesn't mean to hurt me by what she's saying, but it's embarrassing sometimes how she'll go on and on about how she only has two grandkids (by my sister) and her other daughter (me) isn't giving her anything. blah blah blah. I just wish I could tell her to shut up once and for all. I refuse to tell her or to otherwise insinuate that we might be "trying," because that'll only bring more pressure from her. Ugh. Anyway, sorry for the rant, but I know how you feel. Just because we don't have kids "right now" doesn't mean we don't want them! :)

Julie

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Registered: 07-15-2004
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 9:31pm

When I meet new people the "are you going to have kids?" question doesn't bother me to bad. However, DH and I can't seem to get through any family gathering that it doesn't come up.

 Cassie 

     

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2008
Wed, 07-02-2008 - 8:19am

This question really bothers me. I find it rude when people ask repeatedly. Either they've already forgotten your answer, which means they didn't really pay attention to you. Or they know your answer and are probably asking as a way to convince you to have kids.

I've come to realize that other people will always comment on your life choices. I have to find a way to let it roll off.









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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2008
Wed, 07-02-2008 - 8:25am

I get that from some too... Like "you don't need to wait" but we are waiting for many important reasons. We have 3 already so we also get lots of people who think that they need to tell me over and over and "3 is enough" and that myself or s/o or both of us should go get fixed.

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