Feeling like it's never going to happen.
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|Wed, 11-19-2008 - 8:03pm|
Hi everyone. I used to post on this board a year or so ago for a few months but have been MIA since.
Our daughter turned 4 in September and I am starting to feel like we're never going to have another child. DD was a honeymoon baby (born in Sept, we were married in Nov) and we were so not ready for her... but we prepared ourselves and I believe we've done a darn good job raising her so far. Still, it was incredibly stressful and took a toll on our marriage... especially because she's always been a high-needs child.
DH took the news of our pregnancy harder than I did, and last time I was very angry/upset because he seemed disinterested (due to the obvious stress). The choice of when to TTC is completely in his hands this time--because I don't want him to be like that again. Make sense? And he's still not ready.
And now he's taken a new job with the idea of keeping it for 1 year and then re-evaluating (if he wants to stay there or do something else) and so now TTC is DEFINITELY out for another year.
Sometimes he talks about "IF" we have another... not "WHEN" we have another. And when we have a particularly rough night/weekend with DD he's quick to comment, "And you want another?" He loves DD, and I think he loves the "groove" we're in now. I admit, I do, too. But I KNOW I want another at some point. He seems not so sure now. That upsets me, since we always said we wanted more than one child prior to getting married.
So I feel like I have no choice but to wait and hope and pray he comes on board soon. I'm not old, so I know I have time (I'll be 29 soon), and DH is 35... and financially we CAN do it (as we did it with DD with much, much less).
Sorry I'm rambling... I just hate how sometimes it hurts me so much that there isn't another child in our lives yet... and leaves me wondering if there ever will be.