Getting older and financial obligations

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2009
Getting older and financial obligations
16
Sat, 11-28-2009 - 8:48pm

I'm facing enormous student loan debt and had to quit my job to move to Virginia for my husband's job which now pays all the bills including rent, but I need to find a job to make student loan payments. I just graduated with my Masters Degree after getting booted from the program I was originally working toward and so I am going through a major career change. As it stands, when I do find a job, most if not all my paycheck will go toward student loan payment. My husband and I both plan to start trying in May or June.

I'm also 33, and am told that after age 33 your chances of having a child are significantly reduced. I am determined to start trying to have a child this summer or before I turn 35, regardless of if I have a job yet (though I would be surprised if I don't have a job by then) because I'm afraid if I keep waiting it will never happen. Any success having a child under limited financial means/any of you going through the same thing?

"God bless the whole wide world" -unknown

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2009
Tue, 12-29-2009 - 3:57pm
You need to prioritize. If you can't afford your debts, then you're living beyond your means. Working so you can send your child to daycare is not the solution, either. Therefore, scale down. Buy a cheaper car, rent a cheaper place, eat out less often, buy less expensive clothes. You'll find it will work out in the end and you'll also not be attached to the things you own and instead become attached to your family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2008
Mon, 12-28-2009 - 2:23am
Hi, just another drive by....
mcpayton
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2009
Sun, 12-27-2009 - 9:18am

Since the age and fertility thing can be a permanent problem and the financial one presumably will improve, if it was me I would probably go ahead and start my family anyway.


We had very limited means at first; many do of course. I guess the question is how happy can you be with

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2009
Thu, 12-24-2009 - 4:44pm

Hi, I dont usually visit this board, but I saw this thread on the iVillage main P&P board page so I thought I would comment. My DH is graduating this May with a TON of student loans (think 6 figures). When he does graduate, I will have to work fulltime (Im a nurse) and he'll be working, but our plan is to knock out those loans within 3-4 years so that means basically ALL of our extra income is going towards the loans. Our goal is for me to be a SAHM so for that to happen I'll have to work for a few years.


Our DD just turned 1 and let me tell you, children are only as expensive as you want them to be. If you breastfeed for that first year, cloth diaper (or start couponing and buying on sale), buy secondhand clothes/toys, etc..... Children are really very cheap. Of course, if you will need daycare, that will be a major expense but that would be depending on where you live. Daycare here is about $120 a week, but in other places it is upwards of $300 a week.


I would say GO FOR IT. You will never regret having your baby, you will always find a way to pay for your loans, I promise!


Photobucket







Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

PhotobucketPhotobucket


Photobucket



Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker


SAVE TIME AND MONEY WITH E-MEALZ MEAL PLANS

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2005
Tue, 12-22-2009 - 6:18pm

Sewmuse,


I feel your concern is completely legitimate. I am in the exact same position with regards to having to pay back student loans. There is no guarantee that a degree gets you in to the field for which you studied so that you could ever have the opportunity to make the money you would need to live AND pay back a loan. I am 34 and am in a monogamoous relationship but am afraid to have children in this finanically stressful and uncertain times. I have hope that I can create my own financial freedom, but that takes time and planning and the bilogical clock is ticking. I do not want my children to come here and live anything less than a beautiful life.


So, I do not have an answer for you, but you are not alone. I spoke with the student loan people and they said there were certain fields in which you could work and pay back your loan with your work time as service. Then after ten or fifteen years, they would forgive the balance. Please call your loan guarantor to get more accurate information about that.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2005
Wed, 12-16-2009 - 1:09pm

The issue is really how you're willing to live. Student loans can be put on income sensitive repayment plans, so they're based on how much you make instead of an arbitrary amount. You can live in a smaller place, have one car, skip eating out, etc if you truly want a baby and want to SAH. You have a stable lifestyle and a husband who's making enough to cover the bills, so now it's a matter of choosing priorities.

And babies are cheap (barring medical issues, but then your SOL anyhow). I know that's not the conventional wisdom, but other than a new carseat and possibly a crib, you can buy almost anything you need off of craigslist or ebay for pennies on the dollar.

Just for reference, we had our first child almost 11 years ago making about 28K a year. It would have been easier to wait for our finances to improve, but then I think you run the risk of just upping your lifestyle to fit your finances and you never "have enough" to have a baby. You can make the rest of your life work around it if you really want to.




iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 12:44am

Yes, it really is a tough decision when money is tight and you are older. I had my DS at 35 and everything was financially fine. Then we bought a bigger home, I took a new job that had more deductions (big pension plan and stuff so my pay cheque is a lot smaller) and then DH lost his job. Our plan was to have baby #2 so that they were 2 years apart. After 6 mos of hemming and hawing, I decided that at 37 I just couldn't wait any longer. I got pregnant again. We have looked at everything and realized that when we subtract the daycare here from our expenses, we can get by easily on $500 a month from DH. So he has been looking for PT eve & w/end jobs. So far he's had 1 interview and a lot more leads than when he was looking for FT work. We also only have one car - I ride a bicycle and am able to pull a trailer with DS if needed. That saves lots of money.

You have a couple of years before the situation becomes as dire as mine :) But I guess what I'm pointing out is that there are sometimes more options available than meets the eye. Not sure what your field of study is - but if it can be weekend/evening work the money you will save on daycare could really help pay off those loans! And you could look into ways to start making money right away like freelance writing, paper routes, etc just to keep money coming in and the debt declining instead of rising!

Good luck,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2007
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 12:22am

I'm also a drive-by poster.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2008
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 6:23pm

Drive by poster here:

Some things to help you out to see if you can finacially do this. Put your paycheck in savings each month and not touch it to pay monthly expenses. Get used to living on the one income now. Also, pay off any debt that you have, car loans, CC, and any other debt that you can.

Save up money now, for the Carseat and essentials. We put 100 back a month when I was pg. We had extra and bought stuff we didn't need. Something to consider, cause this is where I have my problems, babys cloths are CUTE! I love to buy them. I'm controlling myself and its taking a lot of self control.

Another idea, and set up and "allowance" for you and your DH. This is the "blow" money and doesn't need to be accounted for.

We took a pay cut when I quit my job to move also. I didn't go back to work cause I was PG with DD. We just moved again, and we are on a tighter budget. Its surprising the things that you can go without (execpt the cute baby cloths!) We don't eat out anymore, both stopped smoking, don't buy endless video games or movies. We enjoy staying home and playing with DD.

I hope that helps!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 11:21am

Well, you never know what could happen in the future.

sweets35

Pages