Help please....time to make a decission

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2009
Help please....time to make a decission
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 8:04pm

I posted in DTT also..ooppps!


I am a 26yr married college grad with a good job. Me and my DH decided that we would go on a trip to South America in the spring and back East next summer and start to TTC in Late spring/summer of 2011. Fast forward to now and we want to start a family sooner. The problem is we can not do everything (due to all the time off work and cost). In all reality the trip to South America would cost upwards of 5K (with flight, time off work, insurance, etc...which would cover cost of living while I was out on maturity leave).


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2008
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 2:39am

Hi there!

I think when the time's right, you both know, and then it's time to go for it!

I heard someone say "You'll never be 100% ready to have kids. 90% is good enough. If you wait for 100% it will never happen." I like this.

My DH did a lot of travel before we started dating. I was never taken by travel. He got it out of his system. We went on one last overseas trip (a cruise that we got on sale really cheap) just so I could say I'd been overseas. LOL!

We started TTC on the cruise ship! We now have the most beautiful baby boy in the world, and we're so glad we went ahead and had him. It was the right time for us as a couple and we're glad we didn't delay!

We think "we can always take our kids travelling with us when theyre a bit bigger". We're taking DS o/s later this year. You an still travel with babies/kids, but sometimes your destinations need to be modified.

If your trip to SA is something you've always wanted to do, go ahead with the original plan. That way you'll have no regrets. But if (like us) you just want a baby more than anything, both your hormones are going crazy and you just can't wait, go for it!

Let us know how you decide!


Lilypie - (SpQc)

Daisypath - (2wEx)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 1:19pm

I think it all boils down to how much you want to travel to SA.
If it is a long time dream of you as a couple and you think it's one of those "now or never" trips, the, wait.
But if you think you can wait and travel there in the future (or even not go altogether), then I'd say go ahead and TTC!!!

Personally, I'm of the opinion that it is nice to have your children when relatively young. That way when they are old enough to be more independent, you and your SO still have tons of time and energy to do stuff as a couple.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 1:55pm

Hi and welcome!! I'm Victoria, 29, your CL, and DH, 41, and I are WTT our first!

Lots of good advice here! I agree that we'll most likely never feel 100% ready. It sounds like you traveled a lot, good for you! Are you satisfied with the amount of traveling you've done or do you really wish to go to SA before having kids? You could always go when your kids are older and do even more traveling then as an empty nest couple, but it's up to you and DH to discuss what is important! At 26, you are still quite young TTC wise. Good luck whatever you decide and I hope you stick around!

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Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 3:22pm

Welcome to the board!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 9:34am

Hello...I clicked on the wrong line this morning and ended up here on your board...out of curiosity I read your tread...I found your personal story request sweet so here's mine!

My DH and I got engaged in January 2006 and really wanted to have a family but also wanted to have a nice wedding and honeymoon in Italy. I was so excited and thrilled, I raced off to my family doctor to have a general check up and was given the all clear with the mention that I should not fuss if it takes a bit of time to conceive, that the average first time takes 9 to 12 mths...

Our wedding plans were coming along nicely, we planned a June wedding and a two week trip to baby wise I was thinking if we started TTC in July and it did take 9 to 12 mths to conceive, we would only have our baby late 2007, early 2008...and that seemed very very long, much too long for us to we started TTC right away thinking that the time before the wedding would be pleasant practice and we would conceive in the summer or fall and have a bundle of joy early/mid 2007...well if I haven't lost you already with all my dates and numbers...little did we know, mother nature would be very very, tremendously good to us and we conceived in two months....yup, started trying during February's cycle...and succeeded during March's cycle...found out at Easter (April 2006) that our first baby was already on the way...we were a family of three for Christmas that year!! Baby was born in Nov 2006!!!

We told the good news right away to our immediate families and very close friends...and told everone else at the speech was the wrap up speech that followed dinner just before we started dancing and after thanking our guests and all kinds of heart warming moments, I announced we were 17 weeks pregnant and it's now been over four years and just the thought gives me goose bumps...what a thrill it was to hear our guests reactions...the affection and emotion levels ran high with the ceremony and the day itself but adding to it, that a baby was on the way made it exponentially more joyful!

So all this to say...yes you should think of things in case it takes several months for you to conceive but do keep in mind that it could take as little as two months (as it did for us for Tristan) or even one month (as it did for us for Olivier and we were delighted!!)

I too am a travelling soul and am very happy to have travelled a lot during my twenties...if your trip is important,'s important to fulfill your wants/wished/desirs now...yes we can all travel later but in our fifties we won't see the world just the same way...and it is very rewarding and wonderful to travel with kids, but it's not the same as just a couple...even if you choose to have them babysat for two weeks or so when they are older, you won't travel carefree as you would now. Even if you leave the country and leave your kids, you remain a parent even while on vacation as travel now if you must/want and return to TTC with all your might!!! Your 26 after all not 36!!!

TTC is fantastic, it's the gateway to the wonderful journey and adventure that is parenthood! I hope my rambles entertained you, thanks for taking the time to read it all if you've made it this far!!!

Good luck to really are about to start a fabulous moment...I'll be delighted if I ever happen by more posts of your situation!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2006
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 11:34pm

Where is South America do you want to go? In March, we went to Quito, Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands. Could we really afford it? Not necessarily, but it was a once in a lifetime trip because hubby's brother & family lived in Quito working for the US Embassy. We did end up kinda waiting 2 months before the trip because I didn't want morning sickness during our vacation. After we got back, we started going to an RE and had our first IUI in June. We did get PG but ended up losing it due to ectopic.

The time between purchasing tickets and going to Ecuador was only 2-3 months which was doable. Not sure if you can go any sooner than next spring. We left our plans a little up in the air because if I did get PG we would have postponed and that is why we booked stuff so late.

Whatever you decide will be perfect for you. I have been trying since 2006 for baby #1.

TTC 1st child since 2006
June 16, 2010: IUI w/ Femara BFP (Ectopic - Methotrexate shot) RE sidelined me until November cycle for next IUI :(