I'm back...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
I'm back...
8
Fri, 02-11-2011 - 8:31pm

DH changed his mind... I'm steaming right now! :'(

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2006
Fri, 02-11-2011 - 9:50pm
Glad to have you back, but sorry for the circumstances. Did he explain why he changed his mind?
 
 
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Fri, 02-11-2011 - 9:55pm
Although nothing has changed since we decided to back in December (it was even mostly his idea)...
He says that he doesn't want to take any time off after the baby is born, he'll just be finishing school and he wants to go straight to work... I said that it was fine, I would manage, but he doesn't want to be going into work exhausted from a baby crying all night (if we get a baby that doesn't sleep again)...
He doesn't want to have 3 kids in this apartment as we only have 2 rooms, but I want to give birth HERE so that messes up that reasoning...
He also wants to have another room for the baby so that he can sleep in the room with me without his alarm waking the baby up, but I won't put the baby in it's own room until at least 6 months anyway, plus I can't sleep with someone in my bed lol, so I don't want him in there anyway! If he wants a bed, get another one lol...
He also wants us to be more like a couple than just roommates, having another kid isn't going to accomplish that... but to me, I don't see how we are being any different than any other couple... I'm not sure what he wants? If he wants us to shut the computer off when the kids go to bed so that we "have" to spend time together and not each in our own corner, that's fine, but a 3rd baby isn't going to affect our ability to do that...
He wants to wait a whole year more... that's too long!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Sat, 02-12-2011 - 10:27am
well we talked last night and he said he would be very happy with our original plan of trying in August! So just 6 months of waiting... I told him he should have stuck to that in the first place, I was fine with waiting until then until that one night when we moved up the date, grr!
His grandfather is suppose to be giving him a very generous graduation present when he graduates at the end of the year, about enough for a down payment on a house! He wants to have his job at that point so that we can put the money down on a house and then be able to afford the monthly payments... he said he wouldn't mind trying now but he really wants to get us into a house so that the kids can go outside whenever they want, to have our own yard for them to play in, to not have to worry about anyone else that lives in our building, the other kids breaking snow forts or whatever... it all makes sense and I agree, I'm ok with the 6 month wait, just upset that he didn't think about this all sooner... he knew why we had said August would be perfect, so why did he not just stick to it? blah...
I told him that come August that he isn't allowed to change his mind again and that he has no choice but to be excited about baby #3! lol... he said he won't change his mind and that he will be excited, that he does want a 3rd just that the house is more important to him right now for the kids he already has.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Sat, 02-12-2011 - 12:54pm
Wow, what a rollercoaster, hugs! I am glad you won't have to wait a year to TTC! That is great about the graduation gift! It is important for my DH as well to be able to have a house for our future kids, I think it weighs on our hubbies a lot, so I am glad you both came to a compromise!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2006
Sun, 02-13-2011 - 3:44am
It sounds like you both had a mutually agreed upon date to wait until the summer, but your DH got a little case of the baby bug and wanted to started earlier but without really thinking all the details through like you both had before! :-) It sounds like the two of you are back on track, so I hope the rest of your wait goes smoothly.

Also, if my DH pulled a stunt like, I would make sure he knows that come whatever date we've agreed on to start trying (assuming no huge life catastrophe takes place before then), you will be stopping all forms of birth control, and it will be up to him to wear a condom or something should he be overcome with doubts again. A deal is a deal! ;-)
 
 
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Sun, 02-13-2011 - 11:26am
we don't use any birth control, he just pulls out lol... I'm always hoping for an oops.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Sun, 02-13-2011 - 7:41pm
Im sorry you're so frustrated. I would be too! Wow on the graduation gift, Id love that! And on the oops front, my little darling was conceived as we didnt wear a condom from the very very start of DTD. You live and learn, LOL
Photobucket Thank you vegiemama for my beautiful sig
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2009
Mon, 02-14-2011 - 4:16am

Well, you can call me the worlds biggest optomistic! With that being said, I'm going to say at least you can keep nursing Akaydia and not worry about your milk drying up because you want to nurse her longer!! So there's another perk but I'm glad that things are looking up again for you!

Pregnancy%20ticker