i'm back...again.. how do I convince DH?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2009
i'm back...again.. how do I convince DH?
7
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 7:52pm

Hello ladies! I am back... I went over to WTT grads board, got out my IUD, and my DH changed his mind :( My name is Meagan i'm a SAHM to DS Nathan 5 and DD Mackenzie 2.


It was a big bummer but I understand his feelings. We have his younger brothers living with us since their mom passed away. At first it was one 16 yo brother.... then the 21 yr old moved in and the 10 yr old has been here for the summer. Things have been expensive, stressful, and i'm now just irritated that we can raise all his brothers but not have another one of our own. He wants one too just not right now. "When we can afford it" which is frustrating for me. I want 3-4 kids no matter what.. I don't want to wait for him to start making more money. Especially because "enough" to him is way different than "enough" to me.


Our kids have everything, a big house, 2 playrooms, so many toys I had trouble finding a good present for DD's birthday that she didn't already have! Great family friendly neighborhood, elementary school in walking distance... everything we need and more. That is ENOUGH to me. We cut it a little close on bills and don't get a whole lot of extras ourselves but I don't really mind. We have a substantial amount of money in savings too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2010
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 1:41pm

It sounds like you have different perceptions on the aspect of being financially comfortable. I think my DH and I are the same but the other way around. He grew up a lil more modestly than I, and I need more to be in my comfort zone. I would definitely talk to him about this if you haven't and try to find a compromise. Figure out what is most important to each of you. Maybe if you can save some money on food like you mentioned it would show him that money isn't as tight as he thinks.

It also sounds like it could be the stress of the new living arrangements and everything that caused it and has come with it. For that reason alone I think it would be respectful to offer him some time to adjust. Ask him how much time he thinks he needs and try to keep him to it this time. Let him know you don't want to just keep putting it off.

....this might not have been what you wanted to hear, but I hope it helps. Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 12:21am
Good luck with the budget! Pasta, rice, beans, whole chicken and eggs are all affordable grocery items. I check flyers for sales and I always plan a week of meals as well as bring a grocery list.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2009
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 10:16pm

Thanks Victoria, i've missed ya'll too! I see you are the CL now :)


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 9:55pm
(((Meagan))) Welcome back! We missed you! I'm sorry to hear DH changed his mind...Have you both talked extensively about a budget? If you kept most of the baby stuff from each gender, that would make it much cheaper. I'm sure things are stressful as well with his family moving in...Hang in there, hon!!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2009
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 9:40pm

Michelle-



Yes, you are right. It's just so hard to wait. The stressful situation is just temporary and i'm sure once a couple of the boys go home/ move out things will be different.. I really hope he changes his mind soon! I don't want to wait to ttc but I definitely want to be on this board... it's so nice to have the support!


Angelrae-


I don't want to feel like i'm convincing my DH either, I just wish he would not think money is SO important. He came from a family with a lot of money and has a different outlook on some things. I know he wants another baby, it's probably just the stress of having so many people in the house. Maybe when they move out it will feel so empty in here that it will make him want to ttc right away :) Thanks for the welcome!

Lilypie Trying to Conceive 21 to 37 day cycle tickers

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2010
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 8:50pm

Hey there I am new

AngelRae
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 8:14pm

I'm sorry that your DH changed his mind at the moment. I am also sorry about the living situation with his brothers, too. I can only imagine how incredibly stressful it is for everyone. And, honestly, from what I've read, it just sounds like your DH is

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