I'm making my way back here . . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2006
I'm making my way back here . . .
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 12:08am

It's been a crazy while, but I am going to make an effort to be back on this board more often.  I need some people around who can relate to my desire to have a baby, with the need to wait. For those of you who don't know me:

I'm Melissa.  I've been married to my wonderful husband, Brian, for 13 years now (wow, it's gone so fast!).  We have 3 children - Garrett (9), Jesse (6) and Leanna (3).  They are all special needs, but not in a dehabilitating manner. We mainly have speech and dyslexia issues we are working through.  We are in our second year of being a homeschool family, as a result of the special needs.  We all really love how it works for us.  I am in the process of starting our small family farm, so we have quite the collection of animals : 3 goats (Billy, Starr, Pearl), 2 geese, 17 ducks (15 babies), 2 turkeys (Wesley and Brownie), 16 chickens (3 roosters, rest are hens), 4 quail, 2 dogs (Bella and Chico), 2 cats (Cyclops and Smoke), 2 hermit crabs, 2 fire-belly toads, and about 18 various fish. I am, maybe obviously, a SAHM but was previously an elementary school teacher.  DH works nights at a plant that manufactures engines for Caterpillar equipment. We live in the South Texas area and love it here.

We are waiting for 2 reasons: 1 - get my car paid off and 2 - get moved out to DH's family land here.  We are looking at having both of these done sometime next spring, so I am hoping to try for another next summer.  I had wanted earlier than that, but we decided to move first. I'd start trying now, but DH doesn't want another move with me pregnant.  We have done that twice now - once when I was pregnant with DS#2, we moved the whole household plus my classroom; the second time we moved my classroom to storage the day before my daughter was born.  I can understand his point, it's much harder to move when pregnant and it will basically all be on me as he works really long hours. So, we wait.  We will be utilizing a sperm donor for our last baby.  We have a blood type incompatibility that makes in inadvisable to have any more utilizing traditional methods.

I am currently working on trying to lose weight.  I have lost about 1/3 of the total I want to lose and am hoping/planning to have the rest lost by the time I get pregnant one last time.

Now that I've written a small book about myself, I'll close with I'm looking forward to spending some 'time' with others who can understand my impatience with waiting! Will you please introduce yourself to me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2006
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 12:34am

Good to "meet" you all!

Melissa- our plan is to raise the goats to adulthood then sell the milk they provide.  With all the birds, we are planning on selling eggs for both consumption and for hatching new birds.  We also eventually plan on getting pigs to raise for meat and selling piglets and some cows for our own meat and milk.  We are loving our new lifestyle . . . . It's been a little more than a year since we moved here and we started getting our animals in the early spring of this year.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2011
Fri, 09-21-2012 - 10:54am

Hi, I'm Anna 33 my SO is Eric 36. We have been together for nine wonderful months! I live in a suburb of DC. My apartment is nice and right next to the metro so I can go to DC, places in Maryland, and places in Northern Virginia. I like having the arts and business of the city, but also like the safety and how in my Suburb is. Northern Virginia is where I want to live in the future. It is where My SO's Mom lives. My parents live in DC. I love living near the capital of the united states where the Government happens. I also love the diversity of the area. Any one day you can pick from many places to go, and I like that.

   Anyway, I have about 4 years before we will TTC. Eric wants to be forty the year we are trying. Things on my to-do list from now till then: being with Eric for awhile so we have enough time to make this relationship really work. Then getting engaged and having a really nice wedding. I am trying to figure out what I want to do for work in my life, and then need to go to school and get a college degree, and some more schooling after that.

  I also have an eating disorder that I am recovering from, and would like some solid time without symptoms before I try to conceive. I will have an only child most likely and am WTT for # 1. It is good to get to know others in my place. Eric hears me say, "I want a baby!" all the time, but admits that he is not a woman and therefore does not have this deep need/ longing for a baby. It will be nice to talk about it here.


Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 4:19pm
Hi Melissa, it's great to have you here! I'm also Melissa, and I'm a community moderator for iVillage. If you need help with anything at all, please let me know :smileyhappy:

I bet all those animals really come in handy when it comes to homeschooling, what a way to utilize it with their education. Are you planning on getting any more animals once you move? What are your current plans for the ones you have? We have neighbors that have some ducks and chickens. They did have two turkeys but they got eaten by coyotes :smileysad:

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2011
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 10:06am

HI, Melissa.

I am Heather.  I've been married to my best friend Rob for 16 years, and we have three living children, and one angel flying high.  Our two girls, Kayla and Audrey, are 15 and 13, respectively.  Audrey was diagnosed with autism when she was about 2.5 years.  We moved 600 miles to get her therapy from Ohio to Wisconsin, but we moved back to Ohio in 2009 becuase my husband was laid off from his job, and my daughter was no longer benefitting from therapy so we took the opportunity to move back closer to family.  In 2009, we had a little guy, Caden.  He just turned three this week.  Before Caden was conceived, my husband and I decided that we would either have two more children, or no more...because of the huge age gap.  Well, it turned out to be two more!  We had a little girl Maya Elise in June, but sadly, she had a rare genetic form of anemia, and she passed away an hour after her birth.  Our world has been turned upside down, as I was 35 weeks pregnant when we found out there was a problem.  I delivered Maya by c-section to give her the best chance of survival, but there was nothing that could be done.  I carry around a ton of guilt because as her mother, I feel like I should have known something wasn't right, and insisted that the drs. run more tests, etcetera.  But I let them tell me that every pregnancy is different and blah, blah, blah. We are anxious to try again..but have to wait a bit because of the c-section.  We are hoping to start trying in November...our doctors would rather us wait a year, but I want Caden to have a sib close to his age.  We are a really close knit little family, and Maya's death has had a profound impact on all of us.  We feel shut off in some ways from our extended family...because people say the wrong things, and it hurts.

I am looking for a part time job.  My husband works in the insurance industry, but we need something to supplement the income.  I just finished my BA this past May, and would like to go to grad school eventually.  In the mean time, I would be content with just a part time little retail job...as I'm sure you know, having a large-ish family is hard work! 

Looking forward to getting to know you!!