I'm new! (again??)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
I'm new! (again??)
14
Tue, 06-24-2008 - 6:32pm

First of all. I remember posting once in a "baby board", but that was months ago, and for some reason, never came back. I can't find a post of mine here, so I guess it wasn't here. But if it was, sorry for leaving, and sorry for introducing myself again! ;-)

Here it goes. I'm Mariana (27) engaged to Matías (22). We are getting married on july 2009; and plan to TTC right after (honeymoon baby? LOL!). We are struggling with buying/building our first house, but although I know money will be tight for a few years, I think we can have a baby and raise him/her in reasonable comfort.
I am Waiting To Try, but my situation is the opposite as yours. In our couple he's ready and I... well I don't really know. I want children, I always liked babies; but I just don't feel the "baby fever" thing... I feel quite bad when he looks at a baby and says to me with misty eyes "do you imagine when Camila/Felipe is doing that?" (yes... we've picked out names already...), and I just smile, but i don't feel the URGE... KWIM?

But well... who said you need baby fever to have a baby and love him?? Maybe I'll be one of those moms that need to feel the first kick to really "fall in love" with their baby.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Tue, 06-24-2008 - 7:06pm
Welcome!
I'm Katie (24) and DH is Brad (28). I don't think you're the only one in your particular situation and there is nothing wrong with not quite feeling the urge. I'd say that baby fever isn't necessary but you probably do want to be certain you're ready for it before hand. Beyond that, good luck on planning your wedding and I hope you and DF will be on the same page when the time comes. (And the ladies here are fantastic.)

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*Katie*

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Tue, 06-24-2008 - 7:19pm
Hi Mariana!




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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2007
Tue, 06-24-2008 - 7:42pm

Welcome Mariana! I'm Elyse, 23, married to Dh , 24. We got married Oct 07 and are waiting hopefully only 1 more year before TTC. Although I am the one with major baby fever I have met many in your same situation. The man is ready long before the woman. I don't think there is anything wrong with it and I very highly doubt it means that you won't love your baby. I hope that you feel at home here even though we all seem to have baby fever.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
Wed, 06-25-2008 - 4:57am
Welcome to the board!! I am sure there are lots of women who feel similarly to you so don't worry! And don't feel bad if you want to wait a bit longer after your wedding to try better to wait and feel as ready as possible:)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2008
Wed, 06-25-2008 - 8:19am

Hi Mariana!


Welcome to the board!

-Suzie :)

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Wed, 06-25-2008 - 9:00am

Thank you girls for the welcome! I think I'll love this board, and reading some of the threads really puts me in "baby mood", so who knows, maybe you all will help me in my process of WTT!

I'll keep posting!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2007
Fri, 06-27-2008 - 2:12am

Hi,

I'm Ariana (25) and DH is Andrew (33). Hubby and I are waiting for my school to finish before babies start coming.

I understand how you feel about not being ready. I went off BCP last Christmas and thought I was ready to try. After only a week I freaked out and realized I wasn't ready to give up my life(style). Back on BCP!

I'm still not sure if I'll be 100% ready when I start trying, but once you have the baby I've heard readiness hits! I know that if I wait until I'm 100% ready, I probably won't start TTC until I'm 35 or 40. Then you have the difficulties and complications associated with older pregnancies, which probably are worse than having a baby when you're slightly unready. :-)

Good luck! I'm sure you'll get it sorted out with time. :-)

_Ariana




Edited 7/4/2008 12:54 pm ET by ariana823
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Fri, 06-27-2008 - 11:25am

It's funny how you "freaked out"! Makes me feel better with myself!

I had some sort of revelation yesterday anyways... I had to go to my Dr. because I didn't get my period in the last 2 months. I have PCOS, so I'm used to that, and I don't freak out, I just needed medication (progesterone) to get the engine "running again".
When I was there, the doctor asked me, "Is there a chance you could be pregnant?, I shouldn't give you this if you suspect you are". I said "no, I'm pretty sure that's not possible" but I got worried... The Dr. realized that and said "don't worry, in case you are, this will not harm the baby!! it's just that there's no use in spending the money if you wouldn't menstruate anyways". It's funny, but I felt RELIEF!!! For a second there, I felt so protective over the "possibility of a baby"!!! That has to be a good sign, right?

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Soooooo true! So many women wait forever just to find out that they have fertility problems that would have been MUCH easier to fix when they were younger! I think in the days of our moms and grandmas (before BC) most of women got pregnant young and unsure of their feelings... and they were happy and loving mothers. So it's OK to wait for some insecurities to subside, but one shouldn't let those insecurities take charge of your life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-27-2008 - 2:51pm

Yeah, I flipped when I got pregnant, even though we'd been trying for over a year. I think...I think you can't always predict how you'll react. I seriously shut myself in my room (rather pointless, since it was just me and then cat) and cried for half an hour. And then I got seriously protective. Anyone who did anything that might harm my baby...smoked where they shouldn't, drove recklessly, postponed a doctor's appointment...all got the wrath of Mom. And, then, when it was all said and done it still took me several months to actually LIKE the child once he arrived.

So, now, I make no predictions. Pregnancy and early maternity are a Mr. Toad's Wild Ride of emotions.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2007
Fri, 06-27-2008 - 4:39pm

Hi,

Do think PPD was involved with your feelings after birth, or is bonding something that takes time? Your story was really interesting. Thanks for sharing!

Ariana

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