Introduction - Waiting on DH
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|Sun, 06-29-2003 - 1:17pm|
I have a 7 y/o from a previous marriage. DH and I have been together since 1/01 and got married 8/02, and have lived in our house since 11/02. DH actually set a date for July/Aug to TTC, but then renegged, saying he isn't ready and it isn't fair for me to "push the issue". :-( He is a wonderful man and I'm so in love with him. I agree with him that he shouldn't do it just because I want this. In a perfect world, I would be the kind of person who could be patient and supportive of my husband and his decisions and believe that we will TTC when the time is right for BOTH of us. I so wish I could do that. I can't understand his hesitation (and neither does he) and he can't possibly understand the desire for me to carry a child and raise a child. I also don't want to be so focused on this ONE thing, that I don't fully appreciate my relationship with my beautiful son and my husband.
I was ok for about a month, still holding out hope that we would TTC this year sometime (it's a different story every week). Then I went to a baby shower, put my hand on my friend's belly and felt the baby move. It made me want it SO bad. I cried the rest of the night. I feel like I should support his decision, but I'm so mad at him for wanting to wait.
I visit web sites that have pictures of pregnant bellies, maternity clothes, etc... I am Dawn and I am a pregnancy addict. I don't think I can put this out of my mind for the duration of the wait, I just want it too badly, and I shouldn't feel bad for wanting it. But, hopefully, talking with those of you in the same boat will ease the ache a little.