Intro/Vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2009
Intro/Vent
3
Sat, 10-09-2010 - 11:19pm

Hi everyone,

Lurker here in need of some support. Here's the story - DH and I were married in January this year. By then, I'd already been dreaming of babies for months, and DH knew it. We decided that we would start trying in March (2010). Well, after about a month of married life, that date was pushed back to June because DH wanted to spend more time together as just us. Of course, I was disappointed, but we still had a date and it wasn't that far away.

In March, I told him that I was going of BC so that I could start charting and normalize my cycles. Not very supportive, but then, he's a guy and I suppose no man's going to be excited about beig told he's gotta suit up for the next three months. After a month of that, though, we were pushing out TTC date back to January 2011. Again, I was disappointed but there was a date. Plus, we'd just bought a house so I had other things to keep me busy. So I went back on the pill.

...Until the end of September. I had an appointment to see my OB/GYN to tell her we were going to start TTC, I stopped taking the pill, and I started charting. On the day of my dr. appointment, "we" decided that it would be best to wait at least (yes, at least) until January 2012 to start, so that we have time to save up after the house purchase.

I'm basically heartbroken at the prospect of this. I don't know what to do anymore. I told DH flat out that I wasn't going back on the pill and that we'd use charting/condoms until we were ready to start TTC. But the thought of waiting another year? I thought I'd already be pregnant by now. How do I cope with this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2010
In reply to: klemac
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 8:47am

Hi there,

I am WTT #1 right now, DH and I were just married in September, and it's been a point of contention (kind of at least) in our relationship on when exactly we would start TTC. He has a three year old son from a previous relationship, which is with us part time. My DH can't seem to make up his mind on when he would like to TTC. Some days he tells me he wanted to wait a year, other times, I think he'd be fine if I ended up pregnant now. His family isn't one for planning anything, so I think the thought of Planning to TTC just doesn't quite make sense to him, but I'm a planner, and I want a date. However, I had a pre-conception checkup and bloodwork with my OB, and the bloodwork revealed I am not immune to rubella, so I have to go get the rubella vaccine again, and then we have to wait three months before we try. So right now I figure I will revisit the coversation with him after the first of the year, so that gives us some time to be married, and him to think about things.

I wish you luck, your DH will probably be like mine, and one day just all of a sudden decides he wants to try, so just be prepared for when that happens!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
In reply to: klemac
Mon, 10-11-2010 - 8:38pm

Hello and welcome!

I am Michele, WTT #3!

I am so sorry you are having your TTC date pushed back further and further. It's tough. It sounds like your DH is a little scared, maybe? I think it's totally normal, and I find that is especially true with men. Heck, DH and I are WTT #3, and I am STILL a little freaked out about the prospect sometimes.

Have you sat down and told him exactly how you feel? And flat out asked him WHY he keeps moving the date back? If it's things like financial stability, etc etc... there is never going to be a time when you are 100% ready for children. You can be financially secure up to your eyeballs... having kids is just a whole new ballgame.

I look forward to getting to know you, and I hope you and your DH can come to a resolution!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
In reply to: klemac
Sun, 10-10-2010 - 2:38pm

Hi and welcome! I'm Victoria, 29, and DH and I are WTT our first! It is hard to deal when the TTC date is constantly changing...It has happened to me a few times and right now, we don't have any set date.

This board helps to deal with the wait! We have buddy groups down below as well!


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