Just curious ... WHY are you WTT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2006
Just curious ... WHY are you WTT?
36
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 4:12pm

I'm relatively new to this Board, so maybe this question has come up before ... But I'm just curious, WHY are you "waiting to try" as opposed to TTC?


Are you not ready financially, and need some more

SiggyJuly2010.jpg Siggy July 2010 picture by nrnotes


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2005
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 4:36pm

It's always good to revisit this question. Sometimes resolve can waiver or it can get really rough and seeing the reasons down in writing can help strengthen things.

First time I was on the WTT board I was waiting to graduate from college. I was also waiting for DH to go to shore duty so he would be home. Those were the big two, money and being emotionally ready were two more but graduating and shore duty were the big two.

This time we're waiting for other reasons. 1) I would like DD to be potty trained. 2) DH is back on sea duty and I want to be toward the end of his sea time 3) We need to get out of debt 4) We need to save money

Those are the reasons in no particular order but that would be why :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 4:37pm

That is a great question! It always feels good to look at/reevaluate our goals!

You have valid concerns here. I've always heard that going from 2 to 3 is much easier than going from 1 to 2 children. I'm not a mom yet, so I'll let others chime in!

As for me, I came on this board in April 2009 because DH and I had been waiting to move to my hometown, 9 hours from where we lived together for 4 years. We just did this last month, and so far, life has been wonderful here. I have also been dealing with orthopedic issues for the past 5.5 years, which is making me worried about a PG and child rearing. Thankfully, I'm now past the acute phase, but I want to feel better. It feels good knowing that I'm hardly the only one living with chronic pain and that with more hard work, I'll feel better. Not that I like that other people are in pain of course, but it helps me to talk about it and understand each other.

This has affected my career, but I'm hopeful to start teaching music again from home in the fall. That way, I can set my own hours, doing something I'm deeply passionate about while doing my homemaking duties and treatments. I keep wondering what I'll do once the baby is born though. The norm here is one year maternity leaves, but I'd lose all my clients...

Financially, we have no debt and we have been able to save for a 13-month emergency fund, plus we now live in a much cheaper area. Still, we need to save for retirement and a house, plus college, so that worries me.

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Edited 7/8/2010 5:22 pm ET by cl-hopefulwtc


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 4:41pm

The last 6 months or so I have been mentioning another...eventhough we had said we were done.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 5:20pm
Babysitting is a great idea! I'm thinking of doing this with DH, so we know more what to expect. We are both the younger child with not many cousins, so we never really had to babysit much.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Thu, 07-08-2010 - 7:55pm

I am WTT to try for a multitude of factors. I have been married for 2 years and we both do not have any children. We met in college at around 21 years old and we are now 25 and 26. Both of our parents did not have children until their late 20's (for his parents, 30's) so we do not have anyone questioning us or them pressuring us to do it quite yet.

We grew up in Tennessee and moved to California in 2007 for his career. So in about 30 years we have moved 3 times and stayed quite busy with that. With his job, the level of job title can make a lot more money and we know that probably in the next couple of years he will be make substantially more. That is the time we would also like to move into a bigger place. Where we are right now is just not where I would like to TTC.

Also, he is in no hurry at all. I think he would be ok waiting until our 30's but he knows that I want to try before I am 30. Period. He talks about our future children all the time and what it will be like and how he will love it, and so do I.. but I think financially and emotionally we will know when it's a better time than right now.






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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2006
Fri, 07-09-2010 - 7:25am

Keirsten - Thanks for the suggestion of babysitting! ... Unfortunately, we only really socialize with one other family (or *know* one other family) with a young baby - So I don't really have anyone that I could babysit for.


*However, we are going to visit my family up in MD in 2 weeks for a long weekend(we live in FL), and my brother / SIL have a 5 month old.

SiggyJuly2010.jpg Siggy July 2010 picture by nrnotes


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2002
Fri, 07-09-2010 - 4:01pm

I'm waiting for a few reasons. #1, I don't have a full time job at this time, and am trying to get into a teaching position. I need that steady income to be in place before we can even consider it.

#2 We have a lot of work that needs to be done on our house before it's even remotely safe for a baby. It was a foreclosure and we are living with rooms that need to be redone and no carpet in most rooms, etc.

#3 We have tons of debt and we need to be in a better financial place, paying some of the debt down and with some emergency money in place. See #1

#4 DH and I both don't feel quite ready yet anyway, which is a good thing since we aren't in a good position yet.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2006
Fri, 07-09-2010 - 9:48pm

Great question, and one that does get asked a lot, but that I don't mind asking or being asked -- people join and leave the board all the time, and reasons for waiting change just as often, so I don't think there's anything wrong with asking this question ;-)

We're waiting until Summer 2011 for a number of reasons that I generally boil down to: waiting to try until our first wedding anniversary. We have other reasons, but the time frame for completing all of them still put us at Summer 2011 after our first year being married:

>> The two of us to get married
>> Me to finish graduate school
>> The two of us to be married at least one year before adding to our family of two
>> The two of us to return from our move overseas. This is expected to be next summer, but we may decide to add another year to DF's contract if he is offered it, and that would put us at TTC in Summer 2012 (although I'm okay with this, I don't expect it to happen)

 
 
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2006
Fri, 07-09-2010 - 11:39pm

Pretty much all of the reasons you listed! Ha!

We are waiting primarily for:
-My husband to be emotionally ready, and
-For us to be financially stable enough, with some savings in the bank and a way to afford childcare.

Secondary reasons are getting further along in my relatively new career, I've been at my job 8 months, but financially also goes along with that. I also want to finish losing weight and be in good shape.

We're not sure how long we're waiting yet, because DH just knows he really wants kids and is excited to have them someday, but he doesn't know when he'll feel ready to take on the stress. Right now I'm thinking sometime in 2011, but he isn't willing to commit to a date because he doesn't know if in 6 or 12 months he'll suddenly feel ready.

So it's hard, because our reasons are very vague and hard to pin down at the moment. We got married, we bought a house, and now... we are waiting until the time is right, I suppose. But it's not easy to determine when that is.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Sat, 07-10-2010 - 7:03am

Good question, Neal! Btw, your LO's are beautiful! What beautiful complexions they have! Go for a third. ;-)


I can totally understand the whole work/life balance. I'm about to return to my FT job in 3 weeks and our DD will be watched by three different sitters and when I think about my 11 hour workday (including commuting) and the babysitting schedule, it makes my head spin. I worry about how I will get dinner on the table each night and spend quality time with my DD and still have enough energy to get chores done.


As for my reason, well our DD is

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