Just dropping by for an update!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Just dropping by for an update!
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 2:55pm
Hi everyone! I'm actually surprised to see so many of you still here. Well, although I'm not officially here anymore, I'm not really anywhere else. LOL. So much has changed since I graduated. Well, to be blunt, we are not TTC, nor did we ever really get the chance.

After I left here, so much happened that completely changed my perspective of things. My brother had come up to visit and we ended up partying a lot and I ended up rekindling some friendships from my hometown. My other brother found out aroudn then that he was being deployed overseas for the war. For some reason, this combination made me realize that my youth is already too short, and I just wasn't willing to give up my freedom just yet. I decided I wanted to get the partying and hanging out with friends out of the way first.

Other things occurred that just had me re-evaluate. I quit my job and DH and I thought we'd be okay living off my financial aid. That was a joke. We were really irresponsible with it. I'm now trying to get a part time job for the summer while I also go to school. Living with little - no money, being in debt and not being able to keep up on bills made me realize that how lucky we are now not to have kids in this siutation. It's okay for us to struggle and live on ramen for months, but I can't even imagine having dragged someone else into this situation. It made me realize that I really need to put more of a focus on my education and future career.

I hope this all doesn't sound negative! DH and I are otherwise doing great. He and I are as happy as can be, especially dealing with a lot of other things that have happened, but that stuff are all downers, so I won't get into that.

I think we're lucky that we've come to this realization now, rather than later. I would still be very happy, but I think we'll be a lot happier this way. I still get baby fever when I hear a baby or see baby stuff, but the knowledge of how much better off we'll be if we wait is so much greater.

So, with all this babbling (hehe), in the end it's come down to I want to wait until I at least finish my degree. I'm taking real estate courses in the hopes that I can still have somewhat of a career, or at least decent job while working through school. Then, when all is said and done, DH and I can become the yuppy parents we want to be ;).

I wish you all luck and hope you are all doing well! Sarah, Ill be checking back next month in hopes for some pictures!

Avatar for natbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 4:09pm
That's great Jamie! I had been wondering what happened to you... It sounds like you guys have a lot of stuff figured out now! I know how hard waiting can be, but there are also so many wonderful things about getting settled and taking time to enjoy your dh. Hope everything works out great for you guys!

Natalie and baby pea edd 1.10.04

Avatar for ammarahs_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 7:05am
Hi Jamie! Thanks for the update! I've wondered about you from time to time. It sounds like you've been doing a LOT of thinking and that you've made a number of big decisions lately - responsible decisions, too, I might add! I totally agree that you should wait until you finish your education and until you're more financially stable before starting a family. Babies really do make life a hundred times harder, in ways you wouldn't imagine. Of course, children are one of life's greatest blessings, but if you're not in the right situation or not completely ready for it, it can just be downright hard. My daughter was born after I'd completed my first year of university. I switched to part-time studying after she was born and am now completing my fourth year of college, with one year still to go. Luckily I've managed to maintain high grades but juggling motherhood and study is hard, hard, hard. Not something I'd recommend. My daughter is 27 months old and while I'd love for her to have a sibling, and for me to complete my family, I'm waiting until I graduate. Those are just my thoughts. Kudos to you for being so level-headed and mature about things and best of luck for the future!