money money money...ouf

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2006
money money money...ouf
22
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 7:17pm

Okay. So I feel ready. Very ready. My husband is the most loving uncle to our nieces and nephews, and emotionally, he says he is ready to be a dad. I'm 26, he's 28, and infertility runs in my family so we're eager to start as soon as possible.

We just worry about money. We own a small (2 bedroom) condo in a city, and making the mortgage is tight. I'm a student and work part-time -- I just got a new job for next year, so we should be a bit better off next school year. For a couple months now, we'd both agreed that we'd wait until fall of 2009 to start trying. Today, though, he tossed out the idea of trying this coming fall instead...since our income will be better.

Later on he sort of backtracked...saying that now he doesn't think his job is as secure and he's nervous of the possibility that he could need to change jobs mid-pregnancy or shortly after the baby is born.

I personally feel like changes like that can happen ANYTIME, whether the baby is a newborn or a four-year-old, and it's stressful, but it's life.

I guess I'm curious what you all think of the money issue. i.e., How much will our expenses increase? We'd of course have to work out child care, which in this city will run us at least a thousand a month...but that would be covered by my new job....but of course there will be other new expenses. Ugh. I don't know. It's bumming me out. We are both so ready, and it's just the money holding us back.

I welcome thoughts! Thanks for listening.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 7:24pm
Hi Mary?
Welcome. I'm Katie (24) and DH is Brad (28). I think you hit the nail on the head with anything can happen at any point in time (I don't think anyone will ever be fully financially ready). On that note I put down a website I've seen and we've discussed on this board that may be of help:
http://www.babycenter.com/babyCostCalculator.htm
Hopefully that help you somewhat figure some of the details out, but feel free to ask more questions because the ladies here are great. Hope your wait feels short and we can maybe make your wait a little better.

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*Katie*

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2006
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 7:37pm

Hi Katie. I'm Mary, DH is Daniel. Thanks so much for your response -- and for the link to that website! I will definitely check that out, it could be really helpful.

I am in such awe of how STRONGLY I want a baby. I never realized how intense the baby bug is. We've known we wanted kids fairly soon ever since we got married (Aug. 2006) but it's only been the past 12 months that it's become such an important urge for me. It's so intense! I think about it all the time. Very glad to have found this board.

Thanks again!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 7:43pm
Not a problem. The urgent need (want?) to have children hit me about two months ago and I thank goodness I found this board shortly after. There are quite a few ladies that are waiting at least in part for finances.

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Registered: 01-29-2008
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 8:35pm
Hi Mary!




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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 9:09pm
Hi Mary!

Originally, my DH and I were going to wait four years until we started TTC. We were married October '06, and now it's June '08 and we are going to start TTC in July.
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Registered: 06-20-2008
Sun, 06-22-2008 - 9:38pm

Hi Mary,


I'm Molly (25) DH is Casey (28) and we have been married for 2 years.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2006
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 6:23am

Thanks for the warm welcome and all the replies!

Unfortunately, none of our parents live close enough to help with childcare. We have to do daycare, or maybe even a nanny for a few months at first (daycare is SO expensive in the city that a nanny is not as extravagant an idea as it sounds.)

We are tried-and-true craigslist fans, and are not opposed to gently used stuff -- we're kind of banking on getting a lot of hand-me-downs from my sisters (I have three older sisters with kids.) But there are some things I really want to get new -- like a carseat, since those are constantly being updated and improved. At the very least, though, I shouldn't have to buy a single item of clothing -- between hand-me-downs from the six nieces and nephews, and then gifts from my shopaholic aunts, we should be set!

It's so hard not to feel impatient....but I want DH to be really, truly ready, and I know the money issue overwhelms him. But as we all have said, no one is ever 100% ready...

Thanks everyone!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 7:59am
Thanks for that website, it really puts it into perspective and helps you figure things out :)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 8:21am

Not a problem, but you should thank Suzie. If she hadn't started this thread:


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-pswaiting&msg=17781.1&ctx=262144


I probably would have forgotten that I had seen the site in the past.

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*Katie*

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 12:53pm
Hi Mary and welcome! I am Stacy (25) and my DH is 26. We are waiting until Sept to TTC #2. When I got pregnant with our son, we were NOT ready financially to have a baby. But we sat down and figured out a budget and changed our way of thinking about money and we have made it work. It can be done. I definitely think that you and your DH both need to be on the same page though. Maybe you could go through the baby calculator and print it off to show your DH. Then go through the things that you could eliminate possibly (a daily cup of coffee, bottle of pop, out to dinner, etc.) and see how that could all add up and save you lots of money. Best of luck to you!

Stacy - Mommy to Carter James




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