My body is playing mind tricks on me

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2006
My body is playing mind tricks on me
5
Mon, 05-18-2009 - 3:27pm

My husband and I are waiting to try. We have talked about it and both want a child but don't feel it is the right time for us right now. We are careful but not religious about it.

To kind of help us along with our wait, we are getting a dog.... for the first time in weeks, I have been so happy with this new addition to our small family I haven't paid attention to my body. I missed my period (only 6 days - but I am like clockwork) and so trembling, scared, hopeful, praying (for what I don't know) I took a pregnancy test.... and it was negative. All of a sudden, all those PMS cramps, headache, and fatigue that I hadn't felt at all all week hit my like a mac truck. I suddenly lost all the joy of our puppy and can't help but be frustrated with my life. I want a child so bad but what responsible person would bring a child into the world when their life is uncertain and hasn't lined itself yet (I am a graduate student, he works 9-5, we have only been married a year, we have no savings, we have no house, we live paycheck to paycheck).

I know my reasons to wait. I am just so upset that my own body would sabotage me.... so frustrated, so disappointed, so relieved, so sad, so hopeful, so conflicted... I am going to find a corner to cry in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Mon, 05-18-2009 - 3:58pm

*Hugs*! It's normal to experience those feelings!! As for money, are you following any sort of plan? I personally really love Suze Orman's advice, she's my guru. We plan on having an 8-month emergency fund and then save for a downpayment on a home before we start TTC. If we realize it will take one or two more years when we're more ready (in 2011-12), then we might just have a child in an apartment temporarily.

There's never a best time they say, but I think there is a better time, so I'd wait if I were you until things were more stable. Good luck!!









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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2006
Mon, 05-18-2009 - 9:13pm
Thanks for the hugs. Yes, we have been systematically paying off debts and car payments, we are moving to a cheaper rental to speed this up. Also, I really want to earn my masters degree before we start trying and maybe relocate to a city with better prospects. Like I said, we have our goals all in a row, my baby fever is crazy but I still have my head screwed on right... I guess today was just a bad day. I went shopping for dog accessories to take my mind off things. How do you deal with your bad days?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Mon, 05-18-2009 - 10:05pm

Hi, my name is Cassie and I understand how it feels to feel like your body has lied to you. My cycle before this one I was late, I like you have always been like clockwork with ine a day or so. When she didn't show I took two tests and bother were negative. My body was doing all these things that made me thing I was prego then AF shows up and hit harder then she ever had. I was pretty upset even more so because I had convinced myself and DH that we were, then we were not.


Hang in there I know its tough. Try and enjoy the puppy as much as possible to keep your mind busy till the TTC time comes. If it helps hang out here and post. These ladies are a wonderful distraction and support system.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
Tue, 05-19-2009 - 5:03am

Hugs! I know just how you feel! A few months back I had the same type of cycle and I was convinced we were pregnant. Of course we weren't but seeing the negative test really hit me hard.

Your reasons for waiting are good! So even though it is hard try and focus on the puppy and the other fun things going on in your life right now. Waiting is the hardest part but it doesn't last forever.

We would love it if you posted more here with all of us:)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Tue, 05-19-2009 - 4:38pm

Sounds like you are planning for your future well!! We all have bad days. I have a lot of them because I have chronic pain. And I always become insane when I have my PMS! ;) I like to meditate, do yoga, do deep breathing...I think we all have stress in our lives, but it's a matter of how we react to it.

Focus on what you have to do to create the best environment for your future children. Best of luck to you!









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