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|Sat, 11-22-2008 - 1:55pm|
This is going to be long.... :)
Well, I would like to introduce myself on here, seeing as how you are a group of ladies that can totally and completely sympathize with me. My name is Tabetha and I live in a little town in east-central Indiana. I am 22 years old and have been married for almost a year and a half. My husband's name is Brian and he is 27 years old. We are a very happy couple, currently trying to get back on our feet after trying to help my father open a business and it not working out. We have a lot of debt that we are working very hard to pay off. I currently do not get paid for any job that I do... I take care of my Grandmother who can no longer take care of herself. Not an amazing job, especially since the pay sucks (lol) but it makes a difference in her life. My husband is a truck driver. We have 7 furbabies, 3 of which live inside with us. All 7 are wonderful kitties.
Now for the reason that I am here. Ever since I met my husband, almost 4 years ago, we have talked and talked about having kids together, even before we got engaged. We pretty much knew when we met that we were going to get married, so even before things got really serious between us, we already knew that a family was something we wanted to have together. So year after year, the conversations have always been the same. When are we going to have kids? What time frame are we shooting for? In the next year? The next two years? Ever? We have set so many dates to start trying to create a family, but we always change the date before we even get to it. I guess the timing just isn't right yet. Who knows. And all this time that we have been thinking about having kids together, there has always been someone very close to us that is having a baby. First, it was two of my good friends, then both of his sisters, then one of our mutual friends and a good friend of mine. Now it seems like everyone I went to school with is popping them out! I'm sure you all know how I feel.
Now, I know that most of you are going to say that I am so young, that I should live my life a little before I have kids. You might even say that I need to get a more stable life with bills paid off and a better job for both of us. I know both of these things. That is why I am here. We have decided to take at least two and a half years to pay off bills and save up money to buy a house. After that, we can start thinking about kids and possibly setting a date. I am so excited about buying a house though. And to be debt free would be amazing. A lot less stressful, I can tell you that. But that isn't the point. Even if I got pregnant right after those two and a half years, I still would have my first kid after I turned 25. Why is that such a big deal? I have ALWAYS wanted to have my first kid fairly young, before I turned 25. I want to have a lot of kids and if we start trying when I am older, I won't be able to have as many kids. I just realized last night that I wasn't going to be able to meet that goal of mine, so I have been pretty emotional. Thus me coming here for some support.
I have to deal with babies all the time. Every time I turn around there is another baby or someone having a baby. It really takes a lot of effort on my part to hold it together whenever I hear that another couple that I know is having a baby. You know, they didn't plan to have one, but they couldn't be happier! They didn't even know if they wanted kids, but now they are so excited! And the baby shower invitations are just awful. I haven't been to a baby shower since my sister-in-law's in February 2007, and trust me, there have been several. I feel like I just can't talk about this to my husband either. He knows how much I want to have kids, he does too, but since we are not in the position to have kids right now or in the near future, he doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't like that it makes me so sad that we can't have kids right now and feels that if I don't talk about it as much, it would be easier for me. I disagree, thus another reason for me to come here.
So, yeah, that is basically my life story right there! lol! Feel free to give me any little bit of support or comforting you can muster, because I really need it right now.
I can't wait to get to know all of you! :)