Not sure if I qualify for this board????

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Not sure if I qualify for this board????
7
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 7:09pm
Hello ladies, I am not really sure if I qualify for this board or not as I already have children. I want to have another one but dh and I have decided that it might be best for us to wait until our youngest starts kindergarten before we have another one. I am not all that thrilled with the thought but in away agree with him. Right now we have seven children (dd16, ds14, dd12, dd10, dd7, dd5, and dd3). I know in my heart there is another child waiting for me (us) but now isn't the right time for it to happen.

As you can see from my name I am a childcare provider, labor doula, and am just finishing up my master's degree in elementary education reading and literacy (only have two more papers to write and I am done). This summer I am also going to be working on getting my childbirth educator certification and hope to teach some classes in this area as well.

Anyhow, if I do not belong here please let me know.

Chelle -
"This too shall pass"and "No man is worth your tears, and the one that is will NEVER make you cry."


Mommy with enough love in her heart for her seven kidlets, dh, and then some :o)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 5:31pm
Hi

Of course you fit in at this board - a lot of the other members here have children also. Our CL has three little ones and is WTT #4 & #5.

Wow you have quite a list of accomplishments! I'm trying to make it through my undergrad with no kids and still can't make it to every class. :) Congratulations on your Master's also. I'm sure you'll celebrate when you finish your two papers! :) Are you planning on teaching when all the kiddos are in school?

I'm a nosey little thing and had to check out your profile - I'm in Wisconsin also - near La Crosse. So, whenever I have kids will you be my doula?? :)

Anyhow, I'm Jamie, 21, WTT #1, married for almost two years (May 25!). We don't know how long we're waiting. I decided to go back to college last year and am pursuing a psych degree. I'd like to get my Ph.D. and be a child psychologist, but right now I'm just planning on going straight through for Masters. DH is in school but he doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. ;)

I know I won't wait until I finish school to have kids - heck I was ready two years ago. Now things are kind of changing for us so I really need to wait a little longer to see where life is taking me. I'm kind of at a fork in the road.

Anyhow, I've babbled on an on long enough. Welcome to the board.

Jamie

PS I know you must hear this a lot but I just have to say "Wow! SEVEN KIDS??" LOL. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 5:43pm

Hi Jamie - glad to know that I am welcome here :o)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Wed, 03-31-2004 - 11:18pm
Hi,

Wow it seems like your business is doing wonderful. If you love what you do, why do anything else? I actually did check out your daycare website (excuse my nosiness :)) and it did look fabulous. When we finally do have kids, I know they will be in daycare part time (unless DH gets a SAH job... wouldn't mind that!) and your daycare will give any future ones I look into some tough competition. If I ever move to the Milwaukee area, I'll get on your list. :)

It is sad how little teachers make. My SIL is a 2nd year Jr. High teacher and the pay just shocked me. It's great what you've got worked out, and you can also stay home with your kids.

I was just kidding about the doula part actually. :) I never really knew what a doula was until I checked our your site. Whenever we finally have a baby, the room is going to be so packed as it is. I'll probably just end up kicking everyone and deciding to do it myself (you're a go-getter, I'm a "I'll just do it alone!" -er ;)).

I'm about a year and a half into my degree. It's about half gen ed and half degree courses. It's so weird knowing I only have three years left to my BA and not thinking that that seems like fooooorever. I took a couple of years off after HS because college was NOT (or so I thought) in my future. Four more years of school? Ha! Now, it's like, I have at least five for my MA and all I think is "I'll only be 26! Woohoo!!" I really love school though.

Well, as far as the fork in the road... DH and I are getting ready to move on from this area (all of his family will be moved away by spring 05). All of our friends are still around, and as of late, I've been getting really reflective of my youth and friendships, etc (mostly because one of my closest friends in the world is pregnant, and to put it quickly, her boyfriend is an obsessive jerk who hates us and is probably so happy she's carrying his little trophy because it gives her another reason to be stuck with him and for him to control her because "we're bad influences" ] so she has totally drifted away from us (doesn't even do things with us like shop, watch movies, go for walks or anything) the last couple of months, and dealing with "losing" her has been really hard on me with mean BF). Anyhow, I decided I wanted this to be a fun year for my friends and I. DH and I would stay in this area, I'd transfer to a college I REALLY wanted to go to, we'd have a blast this whole time and I'd probably finish my undergrad here, with the possibility of moving to Arizona.

Well, the first thing for me was getting a rejection letter from the school I wanted to get into. I got accepted into a different one, but the different one was really only a last resort (a very good school and all, just not the one I wanted). So, I began to question if I wanted to put my educational goals in question just to stay here another year. If the main reason for staying in the area (school) was no longer available, why stay??

All of that got me thinking to what I still want to accomplish - I want to join Americorps and go to Hawaii. I want to spend a year in Hollywood pursuing acting. I want to move to Arizona and never have to deal with -40 degree winters again. I want to study abroad in Australia or Ireland. I eventually want to move to Germany and eat Babybell cheese with brochen everyday.

So, now it's kind of like - what do I do now? And it's just really put a lot of things into perspective for me, while at the same time taking them out of perspective. I have to prioritize my wants and needs. I have to figure out where I want to be and what we can do that'll make me comfortable (DH is up for anything). I mean, there is so much out there for me and I have so much potential. With the rejection from the school, it just made me question why I would hold myself back. Why NOT do everything I want to do?

So, I'm kind of lost in this big world we live in. See, had I gotten into the school, they have a great daycare, great health care plan, and for the three years of finishing undergrad, I'd have lots of family/friends around. Plus, we'd be settled for a little while.

Since that didn't work out, I just think maybe it's a sign telling me to pursue my youthfulness - my free spiritedness. Live like a crazy early 20's person and explore. Experience life. So, it's been a tough decision decided what to do in the fall. And then what immediately after that.

I knew I never should have started traveling. :)

Well, I'm sure this was a MUCH longer answer than you'd expected - LOL. But you asked!

Have a good night!

Jamie

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 1:44pm
Wow it looks like you really do have some decisions to make!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 7:08pm
Hi, I'm new to the board, WTT #1. w/DH of 5 years. :( Can be depressing at times, but we still need a lot of things before we can provide for a child.

So, my question is, how did you do it? That's a lot of kids. You must have the most patient, loving heart ever. Please excuse my nosy-ness, but financially, has it been really hard? Financial reasons are the only ones holding DH and I back. We only have a small car payment as debt (thank goodness), but could barely afford 2 bdrm apt. We're still in a one bdrm. It's expensive where we live Dallas, TX. But need to stay close to DH's work. (Sorry about babbling on about myself)

Just a big congrats to you being able to expand your family so much. See you on the boards. P.S. my man makes me cry, but I get tearied eyed over him, I have more love and respect for him than words permit. (make sense?) it's all good tears :)

Jen, 26, DH, 29 WTT #1

married 6/19/99

almost to 5 year anniversary! yay!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 11:00pm
Jen - unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it) my dh and I just happened to get pregnant when we were both 18 yrs old. It wasn't planned, but just happened that way, and the truth is I couldn't do anything but have my dd. Dh and I got married and we lived on $4 an hour (40-50 hours per week - $160-$200 total a week and we NEVER had assistance of any kind) for about 3 1/2 yrs. We were dirt poor and in that time period I got pregnant two more times, and somehow we managed to buy a home (my parents co-signed on the loan making it possible for us to purchase a duplex - we collected rent on the upper and we lived in the lower which made our part of the payment less than what we were previously paying for rent). Dh was going to college so just weeks before I had number three he graduated and got a good job. At that point I was able to become a stay at home mom and then when number four was six months old it became time for me to go to college (we saved money and built a new/bigger home) between the time I was pregnant with five and six and I graduated after our sixth was born. It was then that I started my home daycare which is now thriving. It provides me the opportunity to stay home with my children and I am able to make way more money than I would if I was teaching. I just finished up my masters degree - in fact got notification today that I am officially graduating, and am also in the process of starting my second business as a labor doula and adding childbirth education soon.

I guess how we did it - I don't really know. At times it was hard, and there were many times we went without. We NEVER went out, never went to bars (I can honestly say both dh and myself have never even been in a bar and I am almost 35 yrs old), we never took vacations until 3 1/2 yrs ago, and it was rough. We did things backwards at times, but in the end it has all worked out. Looking back I wonder how the heck we managed to live on the income we were pulling in without assistance but we did, and I am proud of that.

Chelle -
"This too shall pass"and "No man is worth your tears, and the one that is will NEVER make you cry."


Mommy with enough love in her heart for her seven kidlets, dh, and then some :o)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 10:03am
Thanks Chelle!

I'm sure you've told that story a million times, so thank you for one more time to me.

Best wishes in becoming a doula. You were meant to do it. If anyone is more qualified for a career like that, it's you!

~*~ Jen ~*~