Parking myself here for awhile...

Hi, Ladies,

I am going crazy here.  My hubby and I have been married almost 16 years, and we have three living children, two girls ages 15, 13 and  our little guy, who is 2.  We just suffered a devastating loss...our little girl Maya was born via csection 6-14 at 35 weeks, after being diagnosed with fetal hydrops.  She passed away 48 minutes after her birth.  I had a completely noneventful pregnancy, and it was just because she was transverse breech that we had the ultrasound where we discovered things were not right....needless to say, we are heartbroken. I had my 6 week pp checkup today.

Maya was going to complete our family.  The reason we have such an age gap between our girls and our little man is that our 13 year old has autism, and so we put off having any more while we pursued the best treatments we could for her.  Anyhow, it was always the plan that if we were going to have any more, we would have two more.  I will be 36 in October, and so I was already starting to hear the TICK, TICK, TICK befor my last pregnancy.  I really wanted Caden to have a sibling close to his age.

Becuase I had a c-section, my MFM recommended waiting a year before TTC again, but today I told him I do not plan to try for a VBAC (this was my first c-section, and it was only for Maya's health), and that I will see him at Christmas, to which he replied "Whatever happens, happens." He is a very good surgeon, and I am healing well.  (I am sure if he would have told me if getting pregnant at 6 months pp would be risky to me or baby)

I am not going to say I ever took anything about pregnancy for granted before, but I did sort of relax after having ultrasounds at 20 and 22 weeks where everything was perfect.  I did ask him how next pregnancy would be treated differently, and he said that I would have *A LOT* more ultrasounds, and I would only see one dr-  HIM.  (Before meeting this MFM on 6/12, I went to a large OBGYN practice that rotated you around to many different people- I was referred to my MFM on 6/12 when the routinge ultrasound turned out to be not so routine.  I guess my MFM plans to take care of me next pregnancy all the way through, which is a blessing.)

So tentatively, I will say 120 days until I TTC.  There is a lot I have to do in that time, and nothing is definite, of course, but I need that number right now, something to cling to...

I look forward to getting to know you girls : )

Heather