SO ready, hubby is not

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2009
SO ready, hubby is not
7
Sun, 12-27-2009 - 2:16pm

I am a FORMER member of thenest.com where the advice I got there was more oftentimes rude than helpful, although there were some that gave good advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Sun, 12-27-2009 - 3:21pm

Hi and welcome to the forum! I'm sorry to hear you had a bad experience at another web site. Sometimes, people on Internet let out their frustration in life and do not remember to have manners. We here are a supporting group! :)

I haven't had experience in dealing with what you are dealing now, but I hope that you'll stick around here for support! Baby fever is definitely an emotional thing that is not always rational, so we all understand!


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Registered: 08-20-2009
Sun, 12-27-2009 - 5:05pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2006
Sun, 12-27-2009 - 5:30pm

Hi! What name do you go by? I'm Becki, I'm 24 and my DH Paul is 25. We're waiting until late summer or fall of 2010, most likely. My first reaction to your post was, "God, we ALL feel like that on here!"

Maybe not all of us, but I'm with you 100 percent. And, I'm happy to say that my DH is coming around and starting to be ready. It's taken awhile - I've had baby fever since before we were married 2 years ago - and he hasn't agreed to TTC any sooner than he said awhile back. But the good news is that when he is ready, he'll be sure of it after having thought long and hard and gotten mentally prepared. I'm sure the same will go for your DH.

Tips for waiting? I'll be honest, it's tough for me at certain points every single cycle. I just got a new job, so that has helped me concentrate on other things, but I still want to have a baby more than anything in the world.

I like to indulge my baby fever like I indulge in a bowl of ice cream. I often take a long shower while listening to the podcast "Pregtastic", or spend a lazy morning researching brands of cloth diapers. Sometimes I just need a baby fix, and then I feel calm and happy. Other times, I get crazy over it, and can't think about anything else.

The only real way to avoid baby thoughts is to keep busy, so you don't have time to pine over wanting a baby. If it's really a problem, try out for a play or join some kind of club.

But other than that, just talking with other women who understand is nice! I love posting things like "Paul actually asked to look in the baby department today!" to people who get it. And that's us on WTT. Welcome! :-)



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sun, 12-27-2009 - 7:29pm

Welcome to the board. I'm sorry you've had bad experiences on other sites. All of the women here are super nice and super supportive.

As far as advice, keep in mind he says 2 years now... in 6 months he could say he's ready now, you never know. Hang in there. The other gals gave some great advice.

I'm Kate (32) and my DF is Day (30) and I have an almost 6 year-old Ray. We're WTT till summer 2010 after our wedding.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2007
Tue, 12-29-2009 - 2:49am

My biological clock was also ticking at 27.. but DH was not ready. We were both in post graduate school as well, and after we finished, I think DH wanted some time just to enjoy being a married couple without baby. It was hard to wait for sure.. but I did. DH still wasn't "ready" when I got pregnant at age 30.. but I was very persuasive by that time.. LOL. I am afraid I don't have any great advice.. just support. It's hard to wait when you feel that clock ticking! I feel it again now.. but am trying to wait. (DH again is not ready.. go figure)

Cindy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2009
Tue, 12-29-2009 - 4:00pm

I'm glad you're not having a baby until he says he's ready. When you married him, what did he tell you? You will not be able to speed up the process and you also don't want to bring a baby into a home where it's not wanted. When the honeymoon period wears off with a new baby in the house, it does not improve if one of them doesn't want the baby, unfortunately.

Respect your husband's decision that he made to you when you agreed to marry him. If he has changed his tune since you married him, then you might have a good case for separation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2008
Fri, 01-01-2010 - 1:53pm
Hi! I'm Alyson, 19 and DH is Caleb, 23. We are WTT until the end of 2012 for a lot of reasons, mostly so that I can finish school and we can both have more stable careers. It's kind of the opposite in our relationship - he would have kids now if I let him, and I have horrible baby fever right now too, but I have to be the responsible one and tell him to wait until I feel comfortable with our lives and bringing a new life into the world. I also would like to spend quality time together being married without kids before we go on that journey together. I think 3 years is enough :) Maybe that is also what your DH is feeling? Either way, I'm glad to see that you are respecting what your DH is feeling about kids and that you are doing the best you can to deal with this baby fever. All I can say is, waiting is very hard, but support groups like this board and the occasional splurge on a baby book can do wonders. Good luck and hope you stick around :)
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