Waiting is Heartbreaking

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
Waiting is Heartbreaking
8
Thu, 02-24-2011 - 9:18pm

So I decided to join this discussion board hoping for people that could give me hope. I am waiting to try... Against my wishes. I desperately want to start a family but my husband flat our refuses.

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Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Fri, 02-25-2011 - 11:20am

I'm so sorry that your husband won't agree to a date.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Fri, 02-25-2011 - 1:25pm

Hi! Welcome to the board!

I agree with everything Melissa said. I hope things work out between you and your husband. It sounds like an incredibly frustrating situation...Hugs!!!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2006
Fri, 02-25-2011 - 8:04pm
I'm sure I'd be heartbroken if my DH agreed to a date and then backed out too. We're waiting for our first and I'm waiting for him to be ready too, and he isn't. But he's not willing to talk about potential dates because he wants to be sure.

If he's not ready, that's one thing, but you need him to agree to at least discuss the issue! Nothing is worse than just having a topic you can't discuss. If he is having anxiety or commitment issues, he needs to be upfront about it so you can work through them together. I'd try sitting him down and saying that you are willing to wait until he's ready, if he's willing to take action to make progress toward becoming ready, and identify what needs to be done.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Sun, 02-27-2011 - 1:03pm
Welcome. I also agree with Malissa. Finding a third party to help the two of you talk to where it hopefully won't blow up into a fight is a good idea. I am sure it is heart breaking every time he gives you a date and backs out. Hopefully the two of you can have a good talk and figure something out.

Good luck and welcome.

 Cassie 

     

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2005
Mon, 02-28-2011 - 10:57pm

Hi! I was right where you are 3 or 4 years ago. Dh and I have now been together for almost 10 years, married for almost 7, and our DS is almost 2. So it took seven years for him to be ready to TTC. And literally one of the first things we discussed, before we were even dating was how we both wanted more kids. (We each have one from a previous relationship. And it still took 20 different excuses before he would finally get to the root of the problem. I have a habit of getting angry and yelling when I am hurt, so the baby conversations never went well. I finally got control of myself for a conversation and after that, it only took about 3 months or so for him to be ready.Unfortunately, his reason for delaying TTC was something I couldn't do anything about, so I just had to wait it out. A true heart to heart conversation is definitely in order. Try to hear him out and not put up a wall of rejection that I'm sure you feel. With any luck, he will be ready soon. Just know that you are not alone.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 9:28pm

Thanks for the support to all of you who have replied.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 8:18pm

I just wanted thank everyone for the advice. My husband and I starting trying last night. I am so excited.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 11:44pm
Nice!!! Congrats! Feel free to introduce yourself on the WTT grad board! Sending you lots of baby dust!

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