What would you do..opinions please

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
What would you do..opinions please
2
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 2:19pm

Hi Ladies,


Since all of us have a case of baby fever I thought it would be helpful to hear your opinions...since they may be

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 4:34pm
Hi V! I am sorry your DH is reluctant to have another one....I am not BTDT, but I don't think a surprise PG is the way to go, especially since he wasn't keen on your previous PG...I hope things work out!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2008
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 7:26pm

Hey there,


I know how all-consuming baby fever can be... I've had it since I was about 18 and only got pg last year at 24!


Congrats on your lovely daughter. And well done for resolving your issues with $ and new baby and coming through that time as a couple. This should give you confidence in your relationship, it's these obstacles that try our relationships that strengthen them.


I agree with Victoria, I don't think a surprise would be a good idea. I don't think a surprise pregnancy would be fair on anyone in your family, including you.


I have heard many friends comment that their family felt "like a proper family" once their second baby was born. I can understand your eagerness to have another baby.


I think maybe your DH needs some time to adjust to the idea of adding to your family. Maybe you could go to some counselling to discuss this with a mediator? That's what I'd be doing if it was me in your situation. Maybe there are some issues in his mind ie: what if we start having relationship problems again when we have a new baby?


Maybe try to think through his eyes what having another new baby will mean, and it might make it clearer to you why he's a bit reluctant. Then, you can work on his fears/reluctance over a number of months until you are both comfortable to go ahead and TTC.


My DH and I negotiated on the number of babies before we got married also. I have always wanted 4, he only wanted 2 so we settled on 3.


Lately DH has been saying "definitely only 2" and it breaks my heart. He only wants 2 as he wants to stay in our 3 bedroom house and keep his imported car, rather thank buy an SUV.


I just keep hoping number 2 is twins and then we'll get a bonus baby LOL.


I know how it feels when they change the goal posts so to speak. It's very hard when we rely on our agreements and then the other partner changes their mind for whatever reason.


All the best, keep us posted!


B, loving wife to L. Proud Mum to William Luke (22 months) and expecting Samuel James in November. >