What's my next step?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
What's my next step?
Mon, 07-21-2003 - 3:08pm
Well, the Metallica concerts are over for me. What a wild week--shows were absolutely awesome and we had an incredible amount of fun. But, since January when we bought the concert tickets I have patiently waited for July to come around because I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I did not want to get pg before these concerts so the WTT was easy. But now, the concerts are over and part of me wants to approach my DH before the first of August about the issue of TTC and part of me wants to avoid it all together. I was disappointed last night when he used a condom--I knew less than 24 hours after the concert was too soon to TTC, but I was still bothered a little bit by it. I just don't know what my next step should be or how soon this issue should be brought up. I was thinking last night after we went to bed that maybe I would wait and see if he brings it up (after all, we only have four condoms left in the box), but then I also don't want to be on here 10 years from now WTT #1 because DH never approached the subject.

I'm getting pretty nervous about the whole thing anyway--it just really seems like it might happen soon and I've never been this close before. I'm just so confused--part of me wants a baby by spring/summer and the other part of me wants to wait because Metallica is supposed to tour again in the spring. What is up with that? I love Metallica and all, but they aren't my life! Why am I being selfish with myself now? Surely DH's influence isn't that powerful--LOL. This is driving me crazy--I think I'm going to go look for a brick wall to beat my head up against. . . .

Avatar for natbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-21-2003 - 4:57pm
Once I got close to my ttc date, I totally freaked out and was ready to postpone it for several more months--even though I wasn't waiting all that patiently to begin with. You may remember that! So believe me, I know the feeling. I think it's only natural to be a little torn. Once yr pg, you'll be giving up a little bit of freedom. And it's hard to anticipate or appreciate what you'll get in exchange (at least it is for me) once yr little one is born. Besides that, you never know how long it's going to take... But of course only you can decide if you'd rather wait a little longer.

Anyhow, as far as how to approach DH... I think I'd try to guess about when I'd be fertile next and approach him about starting then. I'd bring it up casually like we talked about possibly starting to try about the concerts were over, so I just wanted you to know that I'll be fertile in two weeks--or something like that. Personally, I wouldn't be able to wait to see if he brought it up, but that's just how I am with DH.

Also, I have to say, my dh wasn't very enthusiastic about talking about ttc before we started trying. But once we started trying--and now that I'm pg--you've never seen a more involved husband. In fact, he's currently in the middle of four different pg books and is reading them cover to cover!

Natalie edd #1 1.10.04

Avatar for ntaylor908
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 07-22-2003 - 11:01pm
I'm really close to my TTC date, and I'm kinda freaking out too. Today is the 3rd day I haven't taken BCP. When I started trying to figure out when I would take my last pack, I started to freak and talked to DH about "are we really ready?" Part of me wanted him to freak out too, so I could blame it on him if we decided to wait longer. But, like a rock, he just looked at me as if it was no big deal and said, "I'm ready. I think we're ready." And that calmed all my nerves. Knowing that this isn't something I've just talked him into!!! I am a little freaked about giving up all my freedom as a non-mother--but, I am so excited about having a baby that it overshadows all of that!

Good luck on figuring out how to bring this up to your DH! We'll be thinking about you!

Nicki, ttc end of August!!