When is the right time to have another child?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2011
When is the right time to have another child?
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 9:16am

Hello Ladies! I used to be on this board all the time when I was pregnant with my daughter, who is now almost 5, but I rejoined because I'm a SAHM to my two beautiful kids (we have a 2 year old son as well) and am in a rut.

My husband and I really want to have at least one more child. We *don't* want one right now simply because I need to figure out what I want to do with MY life. I am craving to have some sort of career path and want to start working before having aother child, but I'm afraid that once I start that journey I won't want another baby. I feel like my family is not complete, but if I wait a couple years I feel like that will mess up other things I want to do ---travel, mainly.

Has anyone been in this same boat? Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2003
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 12:02pm

Hi! :) I'm E, 29 in VA and I'm WTT for my first with my husband S, 38. We aren't trying yet, but might start in January.

I haven't been in your exact position since I don't have any kids yet. But I do have similar conflicting feelings about motherhood and career. My problem is I am unhappy in my current job (underemployed and underpaid), I really thought I would be farther along and more satisfied career wise by this point in my life. I graduated college right into the worst time in our economy, took 11 months to find a job, and settled for something much lower than I deserve. So sometimes I feel hesitant to become a parent in my current employment position. I will always want to work, even as a mom. But I can't put things on hold forever while waiting for that perfect job to come along!

Bottom line is you CAN do both (mother and have a career), lot's of women do it. I would try to stay positive and not let one stop you from doing the other as well.

Welcome back to the board. :) I hope you stick around while you figure things out. :)


Daisypath Anniversary Years Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 1:04pm
Hi and welcome back to the board! I'm Victoria, 30, and DH and I are WTT our first!

I think if you really want another child, you will not regret it, whether you work or not! Only your heart can tell you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2011
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 1:12pm
It's a tough decision, isn't it? Are you going to miss being a SAHM if you have another child after you go back to work? Are you going to be able to afford daycare costs? I think it's a valid concern that you might not want another once you get back into the workforce and have your career ahead of you. If you are positive you want another, I would probably go for it now before getting a job. It's a tough economy right now, so maybe in a couple of years there will be more options available to you. I guess it all depends if you want to wait or not.

 photo abbysummer_zps85da8a35.jpg

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2011
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 1:57pm

Thank you for your replies!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 4:38pm
[ I feel like my family is not complete, but if I wait a couple years I feel like that will mess up other things I want to do ---travel, mainly.]

I can understand this part completely. Your children are getting more self-sufficient everyday and I'm sure you can envision the fun family vacations that don't involve you lugging around baby gear, diapers, etc. Even with my youngest at 13 months, and especially because I see how independent my 3 1/2 year old is, I can see the days of fun family trips ahead.

For me, the big motivator is that I'm 33. I want to be done in the next few years with having babies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2011
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 6:46pm

Thanks for your input :)

Avatar for thesunshinekid
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2001
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 12:27pm

I'm a firm believer that there is almost no right or wrong time (in MOST cases) to have a baby.

Jules - Happily married and Momma to DS, DD and expecting our Caboose Baby 11/24/2012

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Tue, 12-06-2011 - 2:50pm

I usually just lurk on this board but I saw your post and thought I would come out of hiding...

I had a baby right out of college, graduated in May and she arrived the following February.