WTT #3... maybe?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
WTT #3... maybe?
11
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 4:41pm
Hi, My name is Lindsey. I have a 3 year old son, Mason born 2/7/07 and also a 1 year old son, Tanner born 4/23/09. Originally I had wanted three kiddos close in age. We had our boys 2 years apart, and planned to do the same with the third baby. Well, after DS2 was born, I suffered from PPD and Anxiety really bad, and also sprained my back pretty badly. Needless to say, I was a mess! I am just starting to feel better now, but am not anywhere near feeling like I'm ready to put my body through another pregnancy/delivery. I have not given up hope yet for that third baby, especially since I hope to have a girl someday!! :) I am thinking that we may possibly try again starting in December 2011. Does this seem like a really big age gap between the third and my boys? It is much bigger then we had planned, but not only did I suffer after my son's birth, but he is still a VERY difficult child. He had reflux/ colic and is still extremely fussy and hard to deal with. I would also like to have Tanner potty trained so that I don't have two in diapers again. That was rough! :) Have any of you suffered from PPD and went on to have another child? I am terrified of having it happen again, and am still weaning myself off of the medication now. Any advice or anything you can share with me would be great!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 1:52pm

Thank you Meagan! It's such a relief to hear that you were able to avoid it the second time around. I know for me, having two "babies" at once was just really overwhelming. I'm a SAHM and my hubby runs his own business, so a lot of the responsibility of childcare and house work falls on my shoulders. Adding in the mix a very high needs colicky baby and a high needs 2 year old PLUS a bad back injury was just more then I could handle. I plan to space the kids out, and get more help this next time around so that I don't have to put myself and my family through such misery again. Also, knowing the "signs" of depression now, I know I'll be a lot more prepared if something should start again.

I look forward to getting to know you too! :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2009
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 10:36pm

Hi Lindsey, Welcome to the board!!! First of all, I had PPD with my first and not with my second. I was worried about it and my doctor recommended working out while I was pregnant and then getting enough sleep after the baby came.... haha... yeah okay! I worked out but, of course, didn't get "enough" sleep with a newborn. But somehow I didn't have any issues. I honestly attribute it to BFing because I have a history of depression and anxiety but while I was BFing I was fine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 10:44am
Hi Stacy! Thank you so much for sharing with me. It's a very scary thought to think about going back to that "dark place." I think anyone who has suffered with any kind of depression or anxiety knows what I'm talking about. It's rough. I agree that having more help lined up before is a good idea. I know now that I'm at risk, so I have to do things a little differently and be ready. I will definitely talk to my doctor and make sure I have a team of people looking out for me. And if my family or friends are unable/ unwilling to help out for the first couple of weeks, I will look into hiring someone. I want to be fully prepared!! :)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 10:19am
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me! :) It really does make me feel better to know that others have gone through the same things and have felt the same way. I have always wanted to have three kids, but I agree with you, my stress levels are way more important then age gaps! haha. :)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2006
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 11:19am

HI Lindsay ...,


I didn't have PPD, but in many other ways, I feel like we have a similar situation.


I too have 2 kids - DS who is 3.5 and DD who is 22 months.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2010
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 6:16pm

Hi Lindsey,

I have suffered with anxiety and PPD too. Our daughter is 8 years old now. Yes it does scare me to think I could have PPD again. I know the lack of sleep really got to me. But I do think I would be more relaxed the next time around. My husband and I would both know how to recognize that I was depressed or anxious and I would not be shy about asking a doctor for help. I think I would also plan ahead to have help from friends and family. I did so much on my own with my daughter. I was being a perfectionist trying to prove I could do everything.

Stacy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Mon, 07-19-2010 - 7:06pm

Hey Michele! Yes, I was on the April EC. I popped in and out a lot and didn't post a ton. :) Your Hannah sounds JUST LIKE my Tanner. Oh my goodness, colicky and high needs to the max. He is still more difficult than my Mason, but getting so much better now that he is walking and can communicate a little. He is very independent too. It was very stressful on me and my entire family as well. I know exactly what you mean. I am waiting until he is out of the baby stage and potty trained and can understand what is going on. I don't want him being overly jealous and rough with the baby or anything, lol. He is pretty temperamental.

It's good to see you around here. I recognized you right away from the April board. Probably because we both have a Mason! ;)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 8:43pm

Hi Lindsey - Welcome!


My name is Michele, and I am also WTT for #3! What's weird is I also have a 3 year old son named Mason, and my DD was born just one day after your son, 4/24/09!


We are waiting until DD is AT LEAST 2 years old, which will be next spring. Besides financial/possible relocation

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 1:30pm
Thank you, I hope you feel better as well! I've done tons of different things over the years: physical therapy, osteopathy, acupuncture, homeopathy and Pilates, which I just started doing to strengthen my muscles. A massage sounds good to me!!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 6:14pm

:P Bummer, I'm sorry to hear about your hip and knee pain. Living with constant pain all the time stinks! I hope you get it resolved soon. I had to do physical therapy last summer. Since then I get massages once a month and go see a chiropractor. It's really helped and is improving.

I forgot to mention my age, I'm 26 and so is DH. We met in 7th grade actually! We dated a bit in high school and then got back together at the end of our senior year and have been together ever since. That was 8 years ago. We got married in June '08.

I look forward to getting to know everyone! :)

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