wtt --indefnintely (long) need support

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
wtt --indefnintely (long) need support
7
Sat, 07-25-2009 - 11:31pm

Hi, I am Laura. I am 36. I don't know if anyone

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2008
Sun, 07-26-2009 - 12:29am

Welcome to WTT. I hope you find a nice home here as I have.
I and my DH are both 25, and are currently TTC our first, but over the last year I found that this was a great place to make friends and wait it out.

Until you have a better idea about when you guys can TTC your 2nd, I recommend hanging out in the first couple of sections, but if you even have a general idea of when he is willing to talk to you about it, I definitely recommend the buddy group section. I have met lots of great ladies there, and it has been fun seeing them transition to TTC and PG.

The other thing I wanted to say is to not lose heart. Many women on this board have had their time lines move up from way in the future to sooner than they thought because their DH's changed their minds. You never know.

I hope you enjoy your experience here, no matter when it takes for your DH to come around.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
Sun, 07-26-2009 - 5:00am

I know it seems very hard now - but don't give up hope!!!

When I came here about 2 years ago, my husband and I were not even engaged and my husband wouldn't even consider having kids until 2011-2012, and marriage was planned for sometime in the future, maybe 2010.

Well of course life changes things:D and we ended up getting engaged on our 3 year anniversary in 2008, and married December of 2008.

He still didn't feel ready for children so the plan was still children at the earliest summer 2010- but then a lot changed and we ended up starting to try this summer.

So basically I just want to say that even though -now- isn't the best time, that doesn't mean in a year from now things won't be different. Maybe your husband will have found another job he likes and earns well at, maybe health care will have changed for you, or you two will have moved, or or or....

I think I would just sit down and tell your husband that while you definitely understand that a second child isn't in the cards for right now, that you are completely committed to making it happen sooner rather then later, when the circumstances make it possible. BUT that you absolutely would never try to get pregnant before you both were ready and that you don't want him to be worried about that.

Have you thought about having one of those IUDs put in? Then there wouldn't be the problem with condoms but there also wouldn't be the worry of accidentally getting pregnant. I know a lot of women love them.

Welcome to the board!!!!!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Sun, 07-26-2009 - 9:59am

Welcome to the board Laura. The board is filled with a bunch of a great women!

I am Jessica (29) and my DH and I have been married for almost 5 years now (together for 9) and I have been on this board since about late 2007 (It's been so long i can't remember). Anyway I understand what you are going through. When I first came to the board DH and I were waiting until October 2009 (which we still are) because we have this big trip coming up, but in May of 2008 we went through some HUGE personal stuff where we almost got a divorce and making a baby wasn't even on my radar then. These ladies have been super helpful to me and DH and I have started to work through all our problems and are now back on our schedule.

I know it's hard to wait, and I agree with others when I think you should sit down with your DH and let him know that you want another baby, and realize that now isn't the best time, but that you want to keep it on the table at least...

Good Luck and use this board for help. they are great! There is also a Deciding to Try Board as well. Welcome!


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Sun, 07-26-2009 - 11:23am

Thanks everyone for the awesome and quick replies! Your support means a lot to me. I know we are all a different parts of journey and I wish you all the best of luck...


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Sun, 07-26-2009 - 4:43pm

Hi and welcome to the board!!

I am currently WTT for several reasons, including chronic pain and financial reasons. I am praying that your DH will find another job with health benefits very soon!! If not, is there a possibility you could move outside of Florida?

I am also hoping you could have a heartfelt talk with your DH about TTC #2. He may be more on the rational/practical side of it while we all know we can get baby fever quite high on our emotional level!!!

I second the board Deciding to Try. There are many ladies on there with undecided DHs. Good luck on your journey! :)

























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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Mon, 07-27-2009 - 8:59am
Wow, that is such a tough situation! I don't have a lot of advice other than just keep talking about it with him. My DH was totally against the idea of #3 up until the last couple of months, I worked on him for a long time and then really got much more aggressive early this year about it and he finally came around. I hope the same happens for you!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2001
Mon, 07-27-2009 - 4:27pm
welcome to the board Laura!!!!

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