Anyone else not have their kids for summers???

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2013
Anyone else not have their kids for summers???
3
Mon, 07-22-2013 - 2:29pm

I feel like the only one on the planet (a mom anyways) that doesn't have their kids for summers. I am actually sad, trying to make the best out of it. I live in suburban community, remarried happily thank GOD...and have a lot going for me...although I have a cloud over me most days because I can't shake the feeling that I am isolated in this being a "blended" family...I am a super hands on mom, and having them gone for 7 weeks every summer for 5 years now,,,it is hard to "make the best out of it"...we travel, I write posts lol, I work, we see family,ect...It just gets to me that I have no one I know that has this situation, and all my friends or church members keep asking me,,,where are the kids...ARGH!!!! it makes me feel like a bad mom to have to say,,,I packed them up, put them on a plane, and they are with their other family...the worst part is they want to come home,,,and I am always being positive and cheery to them,,,to have fun ect...is there anyone else out there that goes through this and if so what do you do with your time to be productive and see the bright side++

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Mon, 07-22-2013 - 4:56pm

I just want to say, I can only imagine how hard it is, but thank you for being positive and encouraging them to have a good time and make the best of it, and not egging them on, calling constantly to check up on them, telling them how they don't need to participate in the family or telling them that its all their dad's fault they have to leave their family, etc.  We have one of those moms and it makes it so much worse for the kids and the family that only has them for a few weeks during the school years and part or all of the summer.  You are making it easier on them in the long run!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2013
Mon, 07-22-2013 - 6:51pm

Right! I work with kids and see what moms who put them in the middle too. We have a schedule, one call per week, one Skype per week, and I try to respect their time. I do often think how it must be for him to not see them all year..I do get them 90% of the time...it is just hard because it is not how I had planned it to be, and was not my doing...so I am left with what my mom calls the Glad Game...lol be glad with what you have! 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 07-22-2013 - 10:02pm

I was going to be facetious and say enjoy your time off--but when they are home all the time, going without seeing them for 7 weeks must seem like a very long time, plus the summer is when you want to do the fun things with them & not having to worry about homework and school schedules.  But when you & the dad live long distance that's basically what you have to do.  You are not a bad mom at all--you are actually being a good mom because I think in most cases, it's important for the kids to have a good relationship with both parents.  I think all you need to say to people is that they are spending the summer with their father--it's not like it's that unusual for people to be divorced.