Moving in with boyfriend when our kids don't get along
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|Wed, 12-19-2012 - 1:35pm|
Hi there, new to this blended family situation and I could really use some advice!
I have one six year old son from a previous relationship, and my boyfriend has a seven year old boy and a five year old girl. We've been talking about moving in together lately, however our sons do not get along well. My son is quite sensitive and used to being an only child, whereas his son has some behaviour issues (mostly aggressiveness and the doctors suspect he has ADD).
It doesn't help that my boyfriend's ex is making our lives hell, and tells her kids often that my son and I are bad and they should not be around us. It makes no sense as to why she does this, given that I met my boyfriend after they'd been apart for more than 2 years and I've never been anything but nice to their kids! My boyfriend talks to his kids about it (especially his son) and they ease up after they've been with him and out of their mother's house for a few days, but his son especially is very selfish/aggressive towards my son.
I'm just struggling with bringing my son into this atmosphere. I love my boyfriend but I don't want my son to suffer or feel like he's getting bullied at home. We would be moving into "their" home, which I'm sure my boyfriend's son will take issue with, not to mention he'll have to move to the basement room as my son moves into his old room (my boyfriend has suggested that they share, but I think it's important for them to each have their own space, at least until they get used to each other).
Is this doomed? I mean, my boyfriend and I have talked about wanting another baby together in the next couple of years, and at that point the boys may have to share rooms as it's going to be tough to find a decently priced 5 bedroom home. Either that or we somehow find a way to build another bedroom.
One step at a time, I know, and I'm stressing over stuff that hasn't even happened yet, but I want to know how to handle this before I jump in. I'm really worried about my son having a hard time in this situation.