Moving out of state ... how does judge rule?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2013
Moving out of state ... how does judge rule?
3
Sun, 01-13-2013 - 4:09pm

So I've been divorced for 12 years. My ex and I have one daughter who is 12. We have always lived about 2-4 hours apart and distance has never been an issue with weekend and holiday visitation. However, my husband and I are looking at moving 10 hours away by the end of the year. My ex and I were wanting to keep things out of court and "verbally" agree on visitations but the more I think about it, I think having a judge rule will be best for everyone, keeping it legal and mandatory. 

How does the judge normally rule for visitations in situations like these? 

Thanks for your help.

Julie (35)
Texas 

Julie (35)
Texas 

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 01-14-2013 - 3:00pm

Hi Julie!  I'm going to make the assumption that you have primary custody currently?  I'm not sure how the court handles it, if you are both in agreement I doubt it would be an issue.  You might just have to make some concessions on getting her to see her dad, and incurring that cost.   I wanted to say that I think you are very smart for getting a court ruling on this.  Crossing state lines could bring up issues down the road and you want to make sure to do it all by the book.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 01-18-2013 - 11:08am

If you & your ex actually agree, then write up what you agree to and have that entered as a court order--it might require filing a petition for modification but it will still be simple.  If you ask a judge to "rule" that means you will actually have to have a trial, which could take months to set up, a lot of money on legal fees and then you might get something that neither one of you wants.  A judge might not even let you move at all--normally you can't move out of state w/o your ex's permission or court approval, so if your ex seems agreeable to it, jump on that.  You will want to consider who pays for the extra cost of travel, will you be sending her on a plane alone or whether he will be coming to visit you & having to stay in hotel, etc. adding to his cost?  Maybe you should give him a break on child support considering that.  and normally when it's that far, then there would be less frequent visits for a longer time, such as spending either the whole summer or several weeks with him, plus some school vacations.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2013
Thu, 01-24-2013 - 4:02pm

Yes I have had primary custody since we divorced. He lives 2 hours away and he gets her on 2nd and 4th weekends. I homeschool so I mentioned mabye 2 weeks every 2 months but that is a long time for her to be gone that often so I'm rethinking maybe 2 weeks every 3 months.

Cmmelissa wrote:
<p>Hi Julie!  I'm going to make the assumption that you have primary custody currently?  I'm not sure how the court handles it, if you are both in agreement I doubt it would be an issue.  You might just have to make some concessions on getting her to see her dad, and incurring that cost.   I wanted to say that I think you are very smart for getting a court ruling on this.  Crossing state lines could bring up issues down the road and you want to make sure to do it all by the book.  </p>

Julie (35)
Texas