Playing Favorites?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Playing Favorites?
2
Fri, 06-28-2013 - 3:40pm

I was talking with another mom who has a blended family, and she was telling me how her teen daughter was mad at her, claimed that she showed favoritism towards the younger stepdaughter.  Some of the complaints were not making her do as many chores as she had at that age, letting her talk back and acting bratty, and always taking her side in a conflict.  While my friend chalked some of it up to teenage drama, it also made her stop and analyze her own behavior.  We had an interesting discussion on whether she's over-compensating in trying to be a nice stepmom. 

How do you handle these types of complaints from your kids?

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Tue, 07-09-2013 - 9:57am

I think part of it also is that being a step-mom, or step parent at all, you don't always feel the authority to be disciplining the step child, making them do as many chores, etc. and its perceived as playing favorites.  If they aren't doing as much as the other kids, then it definitely looks that way to the other kids.  You also have the added problem that there is another parent at another house that is often scrutinizing you behind your back and you are cognizent of it and usually tend to watch what you are doing more often than not.  As the parent of a bio child, you are free to do and say what you want as their parent, you are raising them period.  If that makes sense... 

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Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Tue, 07-09-2013 - 11:44am
That makes a lot of sense. I didn't even think about the scrutiny you'll receive from the other bio parent, that's adds more stress onto the situation.