Fight w/Gdil (VENT!)

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fight w/Gdil (VENT!)
18
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 3:14pm

I think me tapering down on the antidepressants has made me more feisty and I hope that's a good thing rather than bad. I woke up in an ok mood considering the Pristiq masks whatever pain your body has (w/me it's arthritis)and I'm down to taking it just every 3rd day now.

So, you know me and my TV. I love Family Feud and I was telling them that it has a new host. I know. Stupid thing to fight over, but it was just the beginning. I told gdil to change the channel and she says, I don't like Family Feud (which was news to me, she's always watched it w/me). They had some kiddie show on for the baby who only looks at it now & then. So I changed it myself. T was home also. She picks up the remote and says, lets just turn it off and does so. So I said, why, so we can all sit here and glare at each other? After a few secs. of silence, I turn it back on. She says I pay for half the cable. I said, No you don't. You write the check but you're not paying for it. Excuse me? Being married is a joint venture, blah, blah. To my surprise, T didn't back her. They always back each other and gang up on me whenever there's a conflict. And then she shut up. Didn't say another word to me and they left.

I could have said more. Like don't think I haven't noticed you're not pulling your weight around here. When she first came here, she loved to cook and clean. Now, she's already stated that she doesn't want to cook anymore. She left the kitchen sink full of dishes. I mean yeah, I can load the D/W, but we had a thing going where she would load, and I do the unloading. Lately she's leaving it til the next day. When she first came, she said that she couldn't stand having sinks full of dirty dishes. She used to wash the cupboards, clean the floor, and clean both bathrms. Now it's only "their" bath she'll do but I can live w/that.

This is all petty stuff but when my gs is working 3 jobs and doing college, while she sits on her ass & complains about my tv watching, I'm not taking it anymore! Sure she has the baby to take care of, but if I'm here, she KNOWS I'll watch him if she needs to do something. She just chooses not to.

And btw, this was the living rm TV we were fighting over, the one I just bought by myself (no halfsies here!) They have their own in their rm. The one I'm banned from. I should have said, You've already pushed me outta 2 rms in this house and I'll be damned if you're getting this one! But I didn't think of that then. Hrumph

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 5:34pm

my understanding in this situation was that T was chipping in (splitting, whatever...) because his GF/now wife and their new son


Kathy

Avatar for coellis
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 8:33pm

"do you think that maybe this is something that might've been going on in CA, her family wouldn't put up with it, she met T, and the grass had to be greener in WA." Kathy wrote.

This is exactly what my sister was worried about. And more. T has a chance at a really good future and she latched onto him like white on rice. When my sis found out that she was pg, she hit the roof and feels that "she" is going to drag him down. I defended her at the time, but now I'm seeing things a little differently. I hope I'm wrong.

C

 

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Registered: 02-28-2007
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 12:56am

Well this is something that I don't think you can outright approach T about.


Kathy

Avatar for fromsa
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 3:37pm

Colleen..I am not sure what she is wanting..but do not let her push you out...stand firm..it is firstly your home, and out of your kindness you have allowed them to live there..now that little girly needs to know that you are no weak kneed old lady..lol..and she surely does need to pull her weight too..life goes on even if you hve a baby..do you have any contact with her parents???

Avatar for mrose49
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 4:09pm

Nine years ago you said to me "Shoot the _itch!"

Avatar for coellis
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 4:17pm

Too late! I already blew my top! There was hate coming outta both our mouths and T told me he has lost all respect for me. I woke up today w/a heavy, heavy heart. Painful, I mean. It was an awful fight. She called me names that no grandmother should ever be called, I mean who does that sort of thing? Anyway, I walked right into their rm, that's right THEIR rm, and started blubbering, I haven't cried this hard in a very long time. We hugged, we apologized, and I dunno where we stand after all the things I flung at her, as in my whole family can't stand her, I should have kept that in but I was in a rage. At bedtime last night, we were at the point where they were moving out again. Today, I dunno. T went off to work and she took the baby to a Dr. appt. BUT, after I got up for the 2nd time, I smelled meat cooking in the crockpot. So at least they staying for dinner! There's a full moon out there folks, just thought I'd throw that in. With that and me tapering off my med., I went ballistic. My chest still feels heavy. I think when I see my Dr. next Tues. I'll ask for another type of antidepressant unless I fell better by then.

The thought of me being on the same list as my dd for T & B just did me in. That little baby was wide awake this am as we all talked/cried and was the only one smiling....just looking at his innocent little face broke my heart. Thank God he wasn't present during last nights rampage. I now know how I'm going to feel when they do move away....maybe that was the trigger for me. SHE's taking away my gs and my grt. gs, the two most precious things in my life. And I'm not likeing it!

C

 

Avatar for gemini42
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 4:46pm

Sigh...........2 families living in one house.

Fran

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Registered: 02-28-2007
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 12:01am

I can really relate, colleen, because e has told me on a number of occasions that she wants to go back to WA state.


Kathy

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Registered: 09-06-2009
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 8:23am

Colleen, had to laugh when I read what Martha said. Sorry I haven't been here much this week. This has been coming for a while & I haven't actually trusted her from the day she said she was staying. She was too nice, too accomodating, too helpful, get the idea of what I'm saying. She has a dd in CA & doesn't seem to mind not living near her, not seeing her, etc. I also wonder why she never comes to visit mom. All alrm bells in my mind.



Now their room is theirs, fine, they want their own bathroom, fine. I suspect she's behind all this their stuff, I have from the 1st fight. Like me you open your mouth & out it all comes, I'm italian it goes that way & tomorrow its forgotten. Not so for me when my ds screamed at me & said some pretty awful things when dh was in the hospital. Something inside me died & it won't come back. I love him but I don't like him & I know he would walk over hot coals to please dil, shoot me if thats what would make her happy. He always finds something nasty to say when we're together & I suspect its to please her so I try not to be around them unless I have to.



That being said I think you may be heading in the same direction. You raised T & that makes you his mom in her eyes & dh's moms to dil's are crap. I suspect its jealousy but just hop on over to the inlaw board here & read what some of those young girls say about mil's. hate from the day the ring goes on their finger.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 1:02pm

ditto what i was trying to say.


Kathy

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