Hardly ever get to see my grandbaby
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|Wed, 09-04-2013 - 12:02pm|
Well, I have been on the 50ish board, with parents of grown children venting about my son and DIL who are having marital problems. But right now my problem is I don't get to see my granddaughter very much at all. I think they are tired of me over there and some of them aren't grandparents yet, so maybe I need a new perspective, and that is why I came back here. As I said my son and DIL are having marital problems. They have been married just over a year and have a 5 month old baby. They are going to counseling, and it seems to be going O.K. I have cried so much about that and at the idea of my granddaughter being bounced around between two households, sometimes I can hardly stand it. I just have to believe that they love each other enough and that their daughter is important enough that they need to make this work. I don't think my DIL understands that much of what they're going through is perfectly normal, they've been through many changes and it's stressful! Anyhow, I do not want to add to their stress, but this is getting kind of ridiculous. Our granddaughter has spend precious little time at our house. A couple of weeks ago we pretty much had to to beg them to come here. Some people on the "parents of grown kids" thought I was being unreasonable. They said we should go visit them, and that my other sons and girlfriends should also go visit them. Well, for one thing, if they come here they can visit with everyone, instead of everyone intruding on them on the same or different weekends. AND, the other thing, is that they are almost never home!!! How can we go visit if they are never home? They have had a number of weddings and also family gatherings, on HER side of the family. I can't tell you how much it hurts to think about how much time the other grandparents have spent with her compared to us. I don't want it to seem like I'm keeping score, but if I were the score would be like 95 to 5!!! Seriously, her mother and her sister and even her grandmother get to see this baby just about everyday. We're lucky if we get once a month. We were planning to go their this weekend and my dh was going to help my son with a project. But, oh, guess what????? DIL is going to be gone with the baby for yet another outing with her family. ENOUGH!!!!!!! I do not want to alienate my DIL and never get to see my granddaughter, but we hardly get to see her, so maybe it's worth risking it by writing her a letter or talking to her. Problem is she is very emotional and she may go off the deep end and take it out on our son. BTW, it is 80 miles to their house so this should not be happening, we should get to see her way more often. But, no, grandparents, auntie and great grandma who live in the same town get to see her all the time, and we never do. It just hurts. I have all these baby items, pack n play, swing, highchair, jumper, and a bunch of toys. I got this all on craigslist so I got good deals, but I have spent quite a bit of money. I don't care about the money though, I just care that this stuff has not and doesn't seem like it will get used. The only thing I keep thinking is that my other son is getting married and they live closer and maybe they will have kids and I will actually get to be a part of their lives. O.K. I feel a little bit better after venting, but I don't know how my husband is going to react when he finds out that grandbaby won't be there when we go. This is the only weekend that works for my son and he has also lined up some friends to help, so we cannot change this project. We can go another weekend, but he won't be able to get the extra help. We just thought since we were going, we'd be able to spend some time with our granddaughter, I guess not!!! My husband will be helping my son, but I can't help with the project so I guess I'll just pick my nose! Oh, I could clean her house and make her feel really guilty maybe, but she might get offended. I'm so sorry this got so long, I was going to try not to do that. Thanks for reading, if you read this! I'm going to go now and make my other son a birthday cake and eat half the batter. I might feel sick but it can't be much worse than what I feel now.