Loving being a grandparent but

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Loving being a grandparent but
1
Mon, 07-30-2012 - 10:59am

sometimes I feel we are taken for granted. Do you ever feel this way?

I'm so glad that I have the opportunity to be closely involved in my grandson's life. My husband babysat until last Sept while my daughter & I worked. Since she works shift work, her work is close to our place & an hour away from their home, she & my grandson would live with us when she worked. Many times she worked 6 days a week & even if it was the weekend, we would keep our grandson because his Dad had "things" to do. Our grandson had his own room, we brought clothes, diapers, pre-school, etc because we wanted to. We miss him terribly now that he is in school full time - they start full day school at 4 here. We still take him during his school breaks - he has spent the last 3 wks with us but is home now so his other grandparents can watch him for a few days then he comes back to us.

As I said, I'm so glad I had the opportunity to spend all this time with him but while my daughter does let us know she appreciates it so doesn't seem to really "remember" how much we have done when talking to others. It's always like "yes, Mom & Dad have taken him a few times." She said this to her godmother who freaked & sharply replied, are you crazy. Your parents always have him when u are working. Now my daughter is mad at her godmother. I'm staying out of it. When they were married last year, my SIL spent 15 min thanking his parents for everything they do for him & his family - they travel a lot so aren't available for much babysitting. Then he turned to us & said "thank you for hosting our wedding". We won't go there as they were married at our home with 120 guests for wedding & reception.

I'm just frustrated this week as we were to get our grandson back on Fri when my son is flying home for a short visit but now SIL is planning on taking him to his parents' cottage as they are having friends visit. Personally, I think uncle trumps friends but apparently my SIL doesn't agree.

Dee

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2001
Mon, 07-30-2012 - 12:20pm

Hi Dee,

  I'm so sorry you've been put in a position to feel this way. I'm fortunate that my girls are constantly telling me, each other and anyone who'll listen just how much hubby and I do for them.

  On the other hand, I'm afraid when they were little I didn't do enough to show my gratitude to my parents. I'm not sure why. I was young and may have assumed that they enjoyed it so much they didn't need the thanks.LOL! I'm guessing now that there were probably plenty of times they would have rather said..."not tonight..not today", but didn't. I'll have to ask my Mom about this!

  Personally, I don't beat around the bush when it comes to babysitting. If it's because they are working...no problem other than weekends. I've made it clear that unless I'm the last resort..no weekends. My parents never did that...now I'm feeling guilty. Thanks Dee.LOL!!

  Perhaps if you weren't so readily available all the time, the appreciation factor would go up? Sometimes it doesn't hurt to remind them what it's like when we don't say yes all the time.

  These are just my opinions. Lately my girls have been more in the need of financial help than babysitting! The latter was much cheaper.LOL