My boyfriend is consumed with first grandchild
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|Tue, 09-17-2013 - 7:36pm|
Hi, all - I've been dating a man for a year and 8 months (someone I dated 32 years ago and re-connected with), and we've been through a lot together. He left his wife and got a divorce - and his wife was really, really crazy - but the divorce wasn't official until May this year. He doesn't want his daughter and son-in-law to know that he and I have been dating since January 2011, or even that we dated during his separation from his wife 32 years ago.
His daughter had a baby 3 weeks ago after a long and difficult year of trying (harvested her eggs, and she miscarried every one until the last one, God bless!). My BF is naturally madly in love and infatuated with the granddaughter, and spends time at their home every day helping with the baby, cooking for them, etc. (His ex-wife is crazy, remember, and not welcome at their home, and other grandmother lives out of town.) Problem is, I'm excluded from this wonderful and happy time because he never got me involved with them before the baby, and now is really not the right time...truly, this is not the time to start trouble with his ex. I'm really, really hurt though. I don't have children of my own and I have been looking forward to this baby, and hurting for his daughter's miscarriages. After all the anguish we have been through, I can't enjoy this joyful time.
So here's my selfish question - I know he will love his granddaughter forever, and eventually I will meet the family, but how long does this initial obsession last? I'm getting no attention and when we are together, he's grumpy and critical of things I do. Any advice? I want my "old" BF back ;(