New here and in desperate need of advice
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New here and in desperate need of advice
|Wed, 01-27-2010 - 1:07pm|
I am the daughter of grandparents raising a grandchild.Not my children but my younger sisters daughter.I will start at the begining.My sister has started many things in her life and never finished nothing.She went into the military and was kicked out for drug use.About a year later she went to this very expensive chef shool and failed out in just 3 short months.She returned to my parents home to live.She than moved out with this guy and became pregnant with my niece.The guy never returned home from work one afternoon leaving her 3 months pregnant.She moved back in with my folks.Shortly after giving birth she went into heart failure and was admitted to the hospital for about a week.About a year later she meet this man from Isreal that lived more than 500 miles from our home.She was traveling back and fourth every other weekend or so and leaving the child with grandma and grandpa.She later annouced the were getting married so he could stay in this country and he was paying her $10,000 for 5 years of marriage.That is a big rip off to me.My parents were concered about the childs well being in this situation and they approached my sis about tempory custody.She agreed and moved away with this man.My sister is now 27 years old,married to this guy,going from job to job because she gets fired and in the 2 years she has been gone she has only visted her child 2 times.Apparently this man beats her.Whenever my parents don't answer her phone calls she calls me looking for them.I live about an hour from mom and dad.The last time I spoke to her She said to me that if mom does not let her talk to her child she was going to take the child back and file a restraining order against my mother.I went off on her and basically in not so nice words told her to grow the Blank up and become a mother that her child needs.She than called my husband and went off that i was an awful mom and bla bla bla.I had my first child at the very young age of 19 and my second at 25.My oldest child is always at the top of his class and he has earned many awards in education excellance.My younger one just started Kindergarten and brings home grades above average.My children are hugged and kissed everyday.My husband spent 15 and half months in Iraq in 2004-2005 and I lived 4 and half hours away from the nearest realative.I had no help and did it all on my own and never complained.I am a great mother and you can tell by how happy my babies are.I also take over my niece for a weekend here and there to give mom and dad a break.In return they take my kids for 5 days once a year because we take a vacation.The reason I am here is because my kids never get alone time with there grandma and grandpa.My niece views grandpa as her daddy and is very clingy to him when ever any of the other granddaughters are around.I am not angry with my mom and dad or niece but rather I am angry at my sister.She has not thought about how this affects everyone else including her own daughter.She only thinks she misses her.I would love for my kids to have full access to there grandparents whenever they need them.My mom and dad can't come to school functions in the evening because they have a 3 year old that has to be to bed.My son loves his grandmother and they have a very special relationship.I hate that i have to take over my sisters child and take away from my family time so mom and dad can get a break.It would be different if it was my sister and I exchanging babysitting.My question is I think my family is in this for the long hall and I need to get over my anger for my niece.How do I do that?Do any of you have other adult children that feel the way I do and if so how do they function with all this garbage? I love my little niece with all my heart.She is so wounderful and I hate seeing what her crazy mother has done to her (niece) life! I hate that my sister is taking away from 7 other grandkids and has no concern for them.I know I am not going to change the situation or my sister but I want to make it better for me,my kids, my brothers kids my niece and mom and dad.how do i do that?Thanks for any advice you might have.