Stopped by ds's house yesterday

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2009
Stopped by ds's house yesterday
15
Sun, 04-25-2010 - 9:23am

I have never just dropped in but they had told us that we go to my dads house all the time but never drop in. They just drop in here often. First words were we're on our way out. That was fine we had just dropped in anyhow, that was from ds. Dil on the other hand very coldly said we're on our way out & we are late so we're leaving now. I did get to see the new babies room & I asked where they were heading. Was that ok? They were going to her aunts for her moms birthday & thanks to my ds they were late. They are never on time for anything which is why we always tell them something is an hr. earlier then it actually is.


I mentioned that April is a very busy month & dil asked why. I told her lots of bdays & other things in April. Our anniversary is this week married 24 yrs. & she never asked what day or commented.


There 5 minutes & left I know we didn't hold them up because dgd's stuffed animal she takes everywhere w/her had to be found & dh never left the car, ds went out to talk to him.


On a bright note dgd saw me & ran to me calling granma & threw her arms up to be picked up. Guess I won't need to ask to hold her ever again (not that I ever did, no matter what dil told me), it was great that she wanted to be w/me. Dil came up to her & reminded her that she wanted to leave all day & was excited to go.


For some reason dil has been very angry w/us & I haven't a clue why. I think about all the few times we've been w/them & can't think of a thing that could be wrong. I have to figure she's in another one of her moods & I'm the target. Its just so hurtful & she doesn't let anything go by she pounces on every little thing. Ds said she has issues w/me but won't say what. I mind my own business only call to ask how she is feeling about once a month & and the phone calls are only about 2 minutes long if that. I'm afraind to say anything to her because she always takes everything wrong. She had no problem to call & ask me about dgd's dance recital & how many tickets I needed. They are however angry that dh may not go because the drs. want him out of crowds for a while longer.


Just needed to vent I don't know why she's like she is when we are all they had when they had no one & we supported them both finacially & emotionally. We never remind them that they owe us money & are always nice when they pop into our house.


Any advice on what to do?

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Avatar for coellis
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-25-2010 - 7:08pm

Ya know, since you asked.....it seems to me that this has been a long ongoing thing w/your dil. Wasn't she the one who had an affair a long while back? My memory is not good so if this is untrue, I apologize. But if true, she knows that you knew and probably as a defensive mechanisim, she holds a "shield" up between the two of you to protect herself just in case??? It could be her own guilt feelings causing her to NOT be close to you. I dunno, but it makes sense to me (if I'm right). And if that ain't it, then she's just a bitch.

Batta Boom Batta Bang

Oh wait, you wanted suggestions. I would just always smile at her and keep doing your best to support your son/dil. Ya can't change people and it's just really unfortunate that your ds had to fall for such a "person"...there, see? I can be nice!

C

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 12:20am

She has issues with you?


Kathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2009
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 7:10am

Kathy they are having a new baby, due end of May. Its another girl. We were basically supporting them when they were in NC & beyond that. When she got pregnant w/dgd she was very friendly & I bought alot for the baby including a bassinet, made her a beautiful blanket that took just about the whole 9 months, we moved in between so I was really tight on time. I absolutely never bother them, even when dh was in the hospital I only called them if I was really in need. Younger ds carried the whole burden of Nik & I & as soon as my car got here Nik & I were basically on our own because I wanted it that way. Dh is still upset that Nik & I left that hospital in the dark many nights walked to our car & drove down streets no woman & young girl should drive on alone. Very bad area to be in, & my ds the ex cop for that area just let us do it.


She got a bee in her bonnet & left ds stranded in FL, thats what your remembering but when they were in NC we made many trips there for them & had signed for a house for them which thankfully the builder let us out of.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2009
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 7:36am

Colleen yes she did do what you said. She forgets to feel guilty when she wants something from me like when I was doing her baby shower for her, she was all sweetness, answering the phone etc.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 9:22pm

There is a side of me that dislikes FB.


Kathy

Avatar for coellis
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 10:00am

Hmmm, that's an interesting discovery. Just think, your whole life could had taken a completely different path, well the last 18-19 yrs anyway. Doesn't it make you wonder where you'd really be by now? But then, we here (bd) would have never met you, you wouldn't have been our cl, and we'd be saying Kathy who?

Just wondering, did they take her to the Space Needle?

C

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2009
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 10:52am

Its a very interesting discovery. I for one know I wouldn't be here. As in this state in this house if it was just me & dh. I also wonder alot if dh would have gotten so sick if we hadn't been up here in the north. I'm getting to the point where I hate all my kids & wish I was thousands of miles away. I don't know when they turned into sefish, self centered B#$$%^%.


When Nik & I have to struggle moving something or carrying something I constantly ask myself WHY i was there for any of them when they needed someone & I only hope that I get the chance to not BE THERE for them when/if the need arises.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 3:30pm

You're right! What a boring life w/o you guys.


Kathy

Avatar for coellis
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 4:21pm

Aw, how cute! Little Miss Pretty in Pink! P has a distinctive look...who does she look like the most, mom or dad? And that yellow colander in the dishwasher....I have that exact same one! The things we notice eh? LOL I'll bet you're chomping at the bit just waiting for that airplane!

C

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2009
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 6:46pm
I have that exact smae colander too.

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