Vent here, I know dad is old but

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2009
Vent here, I know dad is old but
4
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 9:02am

when I moved in here dad & I had a talk about the house hold expenses. It was agreed that we would split everything in half. All utilities were to be put in my name. He gave me 1/2 of the electirc bill the 1st month & then dh came home from the hospital w/his vent & a 24 hr. oxygen making machine. I told dad since the bill would be high due to this I didn't think we should split this bill & if he felt like it he could give me whatever he wanted or nothing at all. So he complained about it & gives me nothing which is fine I gave him the option. The water bill came in & he said it was too high & he wasn't going to pay it, I asked him what it usually was & he would not tell me. I looked at the bill & there was a big difference from when ds, dil & the kids lived here, it was alot less usuage. We decided that he would pay the water & I would pay the elctric & we would split the oil. I apy for all the food, paper products, toilet, etc., all the laundry products & cleaning stuff, cable TV which he is the only one who watches it because he sits all day & night inffront of the TV. So all in all he pays the water & we pay electric, food, cable & any other expenses that come up. Yesterday we received an oil delivery & he handed the bill to dh & said this is yours. It was a $600.00 bill. Last night I asked dad if he wanted to contribute anything to it. He looked at me & said no, he paid to get the lawn cut all summer & to fix the inground sprinklers so he has no interest in paying anything towards the oil bill.


Ds & dil was suppose to change all utilities when they bought this house into their name & NEVER did. They left dad w/an electric bill of $350.00 which went into collections, a 1400.00 dollar oil bill. I had to change all utilities into my name for this reason because I wasn't paying any bills for dil & ds. Dad paid them all. The boiler is scheduled to be cleaned & ds hasn't paid the contract, I offered to get it in my name & ds said no it was his house. To date it has not been paid & dad has told me when the oil company services the boiler we will have to pay for it. I told dad its the landlords responsibility since the landlord told me he wanted the contract in his name.


I am sitting here so angry this morning that I was dumb enough to move in here. Dil wanted out & she got out because I agreed to move in. I should have stayed at my other ds's who drives up here all the time to help out. We never see ds & dil who live about 10 houses up the street. I even paid half for a new carpet in the den because dad wanted it & I was told I had to split the price. I told dad from the start I would not pay to have anything done to the lawn because its not my house & ds should be taking care of it. Dad just lets ds & dil have whatever they want & do whatever they want, he sold them this house $100,000 below market value w/the understanding he could live here for the rest of his life w/no bills. That never happened.


We'll pay all the bills & I will never ask dad to honor our agreement but it leaves a very bitter taste in my mouth & alot of hurt in me. I guess dad was never honest about things & he still feels as if ds & dil should have everything they want when they want it. He just gave my ds a few thousand dollars & I haven't a clue why. The faster we find a house the better off we will be & the less stress I will have.

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Avatar for gemini42
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 10:24am

I know this is just a vent and you didn't ask for any opinions, but here's my two cents worth.


It's time to seriously find a place of your own.

Fran

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 12:21pm

Here's another .02cents.


Kathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2009
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 1:02pm

I would love a condo but they are very expensive here, $400,000 -600,000 & thats for a 1400 sq ft. 2 bedroom. Condo fees are anywhere from 250.00 a month & up plus taxes are about 3500-4000. So we're looking for a suitable house.


It is well past the time we should be moving, it was a big mistake to move in here. My ds will be the landlord since he owns the house. I'm pretty sick of the stress I'm getting from the vent company, the dr. here who is angry dh went to Boston & the school. Dh seems to be getting depressed & is just not himself. I think all the stress is getting to him also.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2009
Tue, 11-10-2009 - 1:17pm

The landlord will be ds & dil & dad will be paying all his own bills. I can't see how that will work because he's not sure how much money he has since he's given it all to ds to hold because IF he went into a nursing home then his money couldn't be takin from him. I tried to tell him it wasn't enough to worry about but he always listens to ds.


I told ds we would be here till June but I can't make it here that long its just a stressful atmosphere for the 3 of us. Dh & Nik need calm right now & in the coming months. I won't be respinsible for the boiler cleaning & fall servicing because I made it clear to dad that it was ds's responsibility to do that & since he hadn't even paid for the contract it didn't seem likely he would care about the servicing. I calmly explained to dad since ds is the homeowner he needs to take responsibility & do these things himself & dad had to stop doing everything for ds &


Its in my best interest for my family to move out of here as soon as we can. Not sure what dh's problem is but he has been getting short of breath & I think the stress of living here w/all the drama & Nik being so unhappy is getting to him. He was very truthful to his dr. & his dr. here yelled at him & in so many words told him what they did in Boston would kill him. We're just finding out his blood levels are way to low & he might have a kidney problem that no one here is paying attention to. A fixable kidney problem right now but none the less one which is being totally ignored here.


I need to concentrate on my family, dh & Nik not on those who are grown & only want us around for what they could use us for. This week I've hit my peak for stress & I'm very worried about dh. I believe Boston & not the docs here because after 7 mos. they still couldn't come up w/a diagnosis or a game plan other than he had to stay on the vent at night forever. I think it stinks no one was happy for us & have made dh anxious over what was done in Boston.

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