Are you a childless stepmom?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Are you a childless stepmom?
2
Tue, 05-07-2013 - 1:37pm

From an article in the Huffington Post, it's not uncommon for childless stepmoms to feel like second class citizens in their own home, there opinions aren't valued because they aren't a mother themselves:

"My opinions and observations aren't valued because I'm constantly being told that because I'm not a mother myself, I couldn't possibly understand how to raise kids."

"No matter how hard I've tried to be a part of my partner's life with his/her children, I continue to feel like an outsider."

The feeling of being an "outsider" and wondering if it will ever go away is almost universal for every childless stepmother I've worked with (and many stepmothers with children as well).

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mary-t-kelly-ma/help-for-the-childless-st_b_3102893.html

The author includes some good tips on dealing with feeling like an outsider, such as not taking it personally and focusing on your marriage.  

Can you relate to feeling like an outsider?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2011
Fri, 05-10-2013 - 2:11pm

I could see how this can happen. The stepmoms do need to be vocal about it with their husbands, they should be able to give input in their own household even if they don't have children of their own.  I think it shows that you have to respect and include your spouse regardless.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
Sun, 02-16-2014 - 11:44pm

All of these feelings are why I decided not to marry a man who already had children. I held out for someone who did not have children from a previous relationship, and that is what I got.