Book referrals? I'd like to know more about how kids process being "in the middle"

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2012
Book referrals? I'd like to know more about how kids process being "in the middle"
2
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 11:06am

Hi ladies!

I'm looking for books that will help me to understand what my future step kids are going through while being "in the middle" between living with mom, and visiting their dad (my bf) every second weekend.

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
I don't know of any books, but I'll see what I can find. You should be documenting everything that the kids tell you, what you are seeing, etc. so that if you do take her to court for more custody that you have it all written down.

Never talk about the mom or the custody issues in front of the boys. Bite your tongue and wait until you are alone, I know it's not easy but always remain neutral when they are listening. Just continue to tell the boys that you love them, and will always be there for them. Kids are pretty smart, and they'll know that you will always have a home for them.

I'm not sure how Canadian law differs, but your boyfriend should seek out the advice of a good attorney. In the US kids have more of a say in custody arrangements as they get into their teens. Is counseling part of their current custody arrangement? He could talk to the school about it, they won't get as much help but it's better than nothing. Your boyfriend could also find one that could see them during the time he has them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2012

Hi there! It's encouraging to hear