Child Support....just venting here

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2010
Child Support....just venting here
7
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 7:30pm

I am new here, so I am not going to be using the proper lingo or abbreviations and wanted to apologize up front.


We were just notified of a review regarding child support my hubby pays his ex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2008
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 2:10pm

Its not your fault at all. I think the system can stink for some people. I would feel the same and more if i was being forced out of my home in order to make sure someone else's kids were being taken care of.

Can your DH not appeal to the courts on the grounds that you are having to make yourselves homeless in order to pay for the upkeep of his kids.

Yes he should be contributing but it should never be to the detriment of other kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2010
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 11:01pm

BTDT ~ completely understand.

Petition the court, with evidence of lay-off and foreclosure/bankruptcy documents.
I took on a man with 2 kids, I had one of my own, and we had 2 more together.
But when the economy sucks, and therefore Dad makes less money, then that's reality. Reasonable judges will not starve the 2nd set of children just to afford the luxuries of the 1st set.

If your DH is laid off, could it not equal more time with his kids and, consequently, an argument for less CS?

Melissa
~ Mom to 5 ~
~ Melissa ~ ‎"We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people that are not serving us, if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity." - Barbara de Angelis
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 2:28pm

Have you gone to court yet or is this just what she is asking for? When your DH goes to court, you'll find out what he has to pay. Before that, she can ask for whatever she wants.


My best advice is tell your DH to educate himself on the CS laws in your state (they vary greatly). That way when he goes to court, he knows what he's talking about.


Meez 3D avatar avatars games
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2009
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 2:51pm

Here in canada, the CS is on

Real SM's use Jazz Hands
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2009
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 2:15pm

Oh gosh, it would seem a review would help and not triple his support!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2008
Sat, 03-13-2010 - 11:47am

BB-Just know you are not alone...while I don't have the same experience (in terms of having kids with my SO-or having to move from my home b/c of the ridiculously high support payments), I can totally understand where you are coming from and funny enough as I was reading your post, I was thinking you are absolutely right about why it costs so much to raise children in someone else's household???

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2009
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 9:15am

I understand the frustration somewhat. I too, am with a divorced father of 2. His support is $1875, plus her car payment, plus insurance, plus $200 in the fall and spring for clothes, 1/2 of med bills and 1/2 of sports equip.

When Saturn closed and he lost his job he got a job making the best he could. As a result we were paying her more then half of what he was bringing home and between the both of our income we barely made it by. We used all of our savings as well. Where we're at you cant change CS until 6 mos after income reduction. This also happened over the holidays, what bad timing for sure. Fortunately in exactly 6 mos he got a new job making what he was, so now we're recovering... Slowly.

I was 50/50 on having a child. A part of me selfishly doesn't want to give up my "me" time and finances. But the other part really wants the experience and knows that it would be something I would enjoy. Im already getting older so if I do then I need to soon. But then with this past time of him loosing his job and us scraping by how could we have managed if we had a child in our home we had to take care of? Feed? Take to the doctor? Buy clothes for? Etc. So I almost see it as being financially irresponsible for me to get to be a mother. Unless of course we divorce and I file for CS... Would that work? ;) I'm sure not.

I personally think that all children should receive equal support from their parents whether or not they live in the home. So if a guy has 3 children (NCP to 2, and 1 with new wife that lives with him), and the CS calculator says that 3 children should get 30% of his income then his 2 should get 20% and 10% should be accounted for the child residing with him.

Meez 3D avatar avatars games