Ex- Wives of your DH

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2010
Ex- Wives of your DH
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 4:52pm
I'm new here but just wondering what the Ex Wives are like in your life, what role do they play (if any at all) and what sort of person are they?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 5:17pm
My DHs ex-wife is basically out of the picture.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2008
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 5:31pm

My fiance is CP to his 4 kids. Mom has youngest 2 every other weekend. Oldest 2 are too old for visitation and hardly go over.

"what role do they play?" Umm...not to be simplistic, but she is their mom. Plain and simple. That is her role, no matter how much time she has with them.

"What sort of person are they?" Doesn't really matter to me. She is fine. A little weird at times, but fine. Do I agree with the way she lives or some decisions she makes? No. But ultimately she is their mom...the only mom they will ever have... and she is fine.

I don't really get into these issues FDH has with BM, so that keeps me happy. :-) I suggest the same for ALL SMs!!! Stay out of relationship with BM and let DH handle it, good or bad.

wedding planning
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 5:34pm

Hi there!

My DH's BM is kind of interesting. She is really laid-back and not at all hard to get along with. The problem with this is that she is so laid-back with us because she doesn't really care what goes on with SD. I would actually rather that then a BM who was obsessed with BD, what goes on at our house, and screams "overstep!!!" everytime I buy the kid a t-shirt!

We communicate mainly by e-mail. BD doesn't care for her (not hate or anything, just would rather not talk) so I am the main point of contact for our house. Every now and then she will do something silly... I think that she is miserable in her own life though so when she acts out or sends an e-mail with an attitude, I usually ignore it until it is time for us to communicate again and then my attitude is friendly and light. One of the first times I saw her in person (at one of SD's extracurriculars) she looked like she had been crying. I know that her new husband cheats on her. It is well known, and it came out on the stand during the custody battle for SD that one of these affairs happened on his wedding night to BM (his ex-wife and my DH had lawyers and two PIs that teamed up.) With that said I have some sympathy for her. By the time I came on the scence, BM's home life had calmed down, but she still spends every waking moment she can trailing behind her cheating husband (as though she can stop it.) The sad news is that SD and her new baby by her new husband get somewhat neglected. I usually step in when I see something lacking, but fortunately she doesn't try to have it both ways and complain when I step up.

All in all, I would say that our situation is pretty calm.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2009
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 2:11pm

I've only been a stepmom for nine months now, but during that time XW also remarried.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 5:01pm

My BF's X wife is not a nice person!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2005
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 6:07pm
BM is CP.