Explaining Dad's previous family

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Explaining Dad's previous family
Fri, 07-13-2012 - 12:38pm

My husband and I have 2 daughters - age 3 and 6.  From a previous marriage he has a daughter - age 17, and an adopted daughter - age 27 (from his ex-wifes previous marriage).  I have a great relationship with my stepdaughters and so do my girls.  However, they have always simply known them to be their sisters - not half or step.  The younger one is pretty oblivious to the logistics of the whole thing.  The older one is wondering why I am not their Mom.  They have met their Mom.  But, now they are trying to fit together the peices of that puzzle.  What is the best way to explain that Dad was previously married and is now divorced without freaking them out?  I don't want them to think that Dad's are temporary or have them worry about whether or not that will happen to our family.  Any advice for making the complicated simple and not scary, yet honest?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2012
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 7:43pm

As someone that has already gone through that, I can say I have to agree with everyone else.  DF and I have a daughter who will be 5 in a week and he has 2 boys, ages 12 & 9.  Our daughter understands that she has 2 brothers that have a different mom becuase we've always answered her questions honestly and that her dad was with their mom before we were together.  When she was asking about it she said, "So daddy, you were with the boy's mom before you were with my mommy?" DF: "yes, that's true"  DD:  "Well that's okay becuase you must think mommy is better than (DF's Ex) and like mommy a lot more."  Neither of us could stop laughing.  The things children think/say!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2012
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 11:40am

Well i totally agreed with melissa.just try to make them understand calmly and politely.They will surely understand you.Things take time but i know girls understand better and faster such things comparative to boys.