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|Wed, 07-03-2013 - 6:01pm|
Hello all out there,
My name is Jessica, I am 26 (soon to be 27), and am recently engaged. My fiance is 9 years older than me, divorced, and has 2 children. 2 Girls, ages 6 and 9. We became engaged this past April, and as of the middle of June 2013, we have all begun to live under 1 roof.
I have lived my 20's as a (mostly) single, successful "career" woman. Never, married, never had a any "live-in" boyfriends, and no children. I Went straight to college out of high school, and became a Registered Nurse by the time I was 23. By the time I was 25 I purchased my very first house, all on my own. So, needless to say, I have grown to embrace (and enjoy) all that my accomplishments have brought me, as well as my "alone time". All my space I have had, and to share with no one but my 2 pups! ;-) So, when discussing with my fiance, the topic of him and his 2 daughters (which he has 1 week on, 1 week off), I would nearly hyperventillate at the thought of me losing all my "space". I felt so guilty, but, I knew it was all emotions that were natural, and that I needed to go through. So me being the way I am, I hurried to amazon, to purchase nearly every self-help book on becoming a new step-mother, and marrying a man with children that there is haha. the books have actually been very helpful and enjoyable to far!
As move-in day approached, my emotions went hay-wire. There was panic, a lot of tears, a lot of stress and worrying about when I would every get my "me" time again, etc. etc. Well, The first weekend was of course an adjustment. It was a bit high stress and emotional on everyone. Once I made it past the first weekened, I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel though lol. I began to see, it isn't quite as bad as I had built up in my head. Granted, when the kids are with us, I still do very much miss having the entire house to myself, and all my "me" time. But, slowly but surely, i'm learning ways to still get what I need for ME.
Being that I have never had children...it's safe to say I think I am terrible in the parenting department. (Ok maybe not terrible...but defininlty a bit ignorant and lacking in training lol). I don't know the how's, what's, when's, where's of discipling...I wouldn't even know where to start. I'm scared to death to be left alone with the kids, becuase I have no clue what to do with them! I know a lot of this is going to be all trial and error, and I will learn in time. But, anyone out there have any simple words of advice and/or encouragement as I delve in to this very new world of helping to parent someone elses children?? Thanks so much!