SD from an Affair...What to do????

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2012
SD from an Affair...What to do????
5
Mon, 04-16-2012 - 8:45pm

So I have a SD from an affair my DH had four years ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2012
Tue, 04-17-2012 - 4:12pm

I'm probably going to be the

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2012
Tue, 04-17-2012 - 11:36pm

I don't think you are an evil witch for feeling that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2009
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 10:10am

I don't mean to sound disrespectful or negative but, to me, it sounds like you're making DH out to be a victim...when, IMO, he's not, AT ALL.

FoodieWorking Mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2012
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 11:30am
My Daughter in Law is exactly like your SD's BM. I am sorry for your troubles, and it is wonderful that you arent holding the Adults faults against your SD. However.. you do have to provide for your children first. My DiL is causing trouble of every kind with my GD (she is 4). the DL had another child last august (she is still married to my son, they are seperated) and now has my GD calling the new man "Daddy". Which sends my son through the roof. She has caused alot of trouble for my son, refuses to divorce him, plays games with him & my GD, using their hearts like dart boards. It will never stop.
That is the way people like that are. They are mentally ill, in my opinion, and they just dont care how they hurt or use others, as long as they get enjoyment out of the situation.
If you dont want your children to learn that lesson in life, you should seperate yourself & them from this mess as it will never change.
Sometimes the best gift you can give a child is to remove all confusing aspects of its life, knowing that some things can only do damage and more damage. Yes, there is a chance that your SD's life could be ugly if you and your DH stay out of her life, but at least it wont be confusing, and she wont spend every day of her life being confused and resentful of your children ( which can cause a whole host of other kinds of problems).
When she becomes of age, she can decide how she wants to change her situation or not with your DH. She can then start a relationship with your DH or not. As a child who was adopted by a man my mother married... it is not so bad. There is always a question in the back of the mind, but I found my father and got an answer. I dont have much of anything to do with my BF, however, but that was my choice. I dont have any hurt feelings from that.
Trying to make decisions that affect the lives of children is sooo very difficult. One never knows how anything we choose will affect them in the future. But unless you can get the child taken away from the BM completely, all these crazy, horrible dramas will continue to be played with you & your childrens lives... because that woman will NEVER change.
I wish you and yours the best of luck. Be Blessed in all you do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2012
Sat, 04-28-2012 - 12:51pm

I appreciate everyone's input.