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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Fri, 09-14-2012 - 9:14pm

When i met sd dad she was 3 sweet lil make it short and sweet here...At age 10 she moved in with us not wanting to live with BM...BM seems to say tons of things about me n now her sister is too in text messages calling me names and they only do this to me not BF at all...And has on occasions called me names etc infront of her scraming like a crazy lady when sd lived with her...I have not ever done that and I dont believe in bashing BM's/BF's the children will see on there own how there BM/BF is...For the last year sd n i seem to have a ref that i feel is becuz of BM n now her aunt...i am told by sd when we as in me her and her dad sat down to talk that the reason shes treating me like this is becuz im not her mother n she can...i have never been so hurt in my life....i no i am not her mother n not once have i tried to take her mothers spot....i have alway said to respect her etc  and i have done more for her then her own mother...there is soooo much more and more to the story on other things with her BM...i just dont feel like doing this anymore whats the point i feel she hates or doesnt like me now for some strange reason and i feel its her BM thats doing it...need help or just another SM to talk to that understands :smileysad: sorry if this is just a big typed up mess im just upset....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 8:04pm

SD's father needs to step up and tell the young lady that if she wants to live with you and him she has to treat you  with respect.  He has to explain that that is part of the rules of the house, and if she can't comply she can go back and live with SM. I don't think just talking about your feelings is enough here--the father needs to make it clear to SD that this is not acceptable. To make it stick, he should probably take away privileges if she can't comply, and maybe take away her phone if she is using it to say bad things about  you to her sister.

Is the sister of SD also the child of your partner? If so, the father needs to tell her as well that texting bad things about you is not okay.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 5:36pm

I'm sorry you obviously feel you're at the end of your rope. :smileysad:

Does your BF do anything to put a stop to the text messages at all?  Is your SD in on the abuse or is she just a witness to it?  It's not odd for a SD to say things to her SM like "you're not my mother", we have all or will be in that position at some point I'm sure!!

IMO, if you feel this is becoming verbally abusive, maybe it's time to get a court order of some kind to get it stopped.  I don't know where you live, but I'd assume there are rules around this type of communication.

How is your relationship with your BF?


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2012
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 11:36am

Indeed you deserve a respect in my vision.Look if some one doesnot take up stand for you,doesnot take care of him just dont move further with him!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2012


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2012
Tue, 11-06-2012 - 2:26am
no her sister belongs to another person...the mother, mothers sister, her daughter and im sure other family members from her side talk about me ignorantly to and with her probably...SD told me that her mother talks about me and her sister too...I have tried for many years so when do I just stop? Im slowly distancing myself from her...I dont want to be hurt by her anymore...this is recking my relationship do you deal with a mother that talks ignorantly about me, but when people are around she fake as crap and puts a show on for them...I have also read some texts SD got from her mother and aunt and the way these people talk is just wrong...what can you do to put a stop to things like that legally with out stirring things up???? I need help...I keep trying but when will it ever change???
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Thu, 11-22-2012 - 10:42pm
Agree with the other posts; You being respected as a caring adult who has been there for her, is something your bf HAS to stand up, and make sure you are shown. If he refuses to do this, for Any reason, it is, sadly, time to bounce..move on asap! Would you allow a child of yours to treat your bf this way? Of course not! So, why should You put up with it? Sit down with your bf, stick to your feelings, and explain that you can NO longer tolerate this, so something needs to be done. Then be quiet, and let Him fill in the solution. If he doesnt have one, he may Never have one. Because you dont have a child, does Not mean you don't know how to raise one right! And you are Very much valued in this world!! take care and keep us posted. Sincerely, Pepper